For all my fellow human beings...

Dear frustrated "Indians"...

2011-09-19T14:24:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer: I mean each and everything I write here... No pretenses from my side...

This post goes out to

a) That frustrated North-Indian in South India...

b) That pissed-off South-Indian in North India...

c) That "I am North-Indian, yet I am normal - face it your moron" and "I am a South-Indian who dares you North-Indian to defeat me in Chess or in counting how many states are in India" type of guys and girls...

d) Every other blogger who writes or plans to join any one of the above-mentioned categories (or any related category) anytime soon...

I am not going to write something extraordinary like the speech President Whitmore gave in "Independence Day". I am not going to assume anything about you or your IQ level if you ask me "What speech? Which movie?" But if you haven't seen this IMDB 6.6 rated 1996 cult-classic mind-blowing movie about how two guys - one an "Obsessed-with-recycling" geek and the other a "I deserve to be a Astronaut and I love cigars" hunk - manage to save the entire planet working together with the Greatest fictional President of the USA, I strongly urge you to reconsider reading the rest of this post and first see this movie...

I really don't care which part of the country you are from, which part of the country you stay presently and which part of the country you plan to settle down, and which "English Grammar Rule" I am breaking with each and every sentence I am writing here. I really care for your useless rantings as much I do care for the buttocks of medium-sized, long-tailed rodents belonging to the superfamily Muroidea. But I do care about what you write about my temporary home (Delhi, North-India), my permanent home (Hyderabad, South India), my birth-place (present-day Mumbai, Maharashtra) and places that made me realize home is where your heart is (Kurukshetra and Lucknow, North India) and not where your lungi is.

Dear frustrated fellow Indians from (a), (b), (c) and (d), the Constitution of India did give us all the right to freedom of speech. We use it in our own ways, but using it to rant about something that you happen to witness in your own narrow world is not hilarious - it's naive. Most of the people who read your post will laugh and enjoy it (I surely did at least one of the two things), but they might as well be laughing at you, and not at what you write (which could be equally pathetic). I, for one, just read and share. I really don't think much into such stereotypes.

Am I an authority on stereotypes? Well, lemme see. I am a short moderately-obese (moderate is not an exaggeration) South-Indian IIM graduate working in a sinking-ship PSU living in North India. I have been branded a "geek", "brainiac", "fatso", "mota reddy" "mote g***nd", "zehari" and what not for most part of my life. As a stout Hyderabadi with a clear South-Indian accent in his English and Hindi, I have heard more jokes about my physique and my dialect than the number of Sardar jokes that most people have heard. Stereotyping? I am the mother-load baby!!

Dear frustrated North-Indian in South India

If you are corporate employee posted in South India, I apologize to you on the behalf of all the screwed-up HR Personnel in this country who decided on your posting. Let me remind you that in all probability, the guy/girl who posted you (remember: Girls love HR, they just don't like marrying one) is as screwed up as you are, and hence wanted a fellow brother/sister to feel his/her pain and anguish and suffering (add more adjectives, please). It was very rude of them to make you experience a different facet of your own motherland by sending you far-far away from the comforting pallu of your mother and the heavy wallet of your father. They should have posted you in dusty Gurgaon, where you could have enjoyed the "devoid of any sense" malls, the long power-cuts in your 10 ft.*8 ft. hole for which you pay an exorbitant sum of money and "no one cares for my intelligence as much as they do for my looks" girls, instead of the discomforts of Bangalore, Mumbai or Chennai. Unfortunately, all the North-Indian HRs working in Hyderabad and Bangalore refuse to take me into their companies and give me an opportunity to amend this grave error that they have been the victims to. As soon as I get a good corporate job, I assure you I'll correct this grave injustice as much as I possibly can.

If you are a North-Indian who is settled in South India because your parents have moved there due to many different reasons, then I hope you have adjusted to the culture around you. If you haven't, well it's your own god-damn fault and you can holler all you like. But we South-Indians do know the quote "Barking Dogs Seldom Bite, but are caught most frequently by Dog-Catchers" and use it to full effect.

Dear frustrated South-Indian in North India

Yes I can empathize with your feelings sir/ma'm (fully knowing the meaning of the word empathize). North Indians are crazy, mean and unsophisticated unlike us pure-bred Dravidians who follow "Athithi-devo-bhava" to the tee, and respect all Indians - both North-and-South alike - without any discrimination of caste creed and colour. Yep, we are the "perfect specimens". It must be frustrating to see them insist that you speak only and only in Hindi, and refuse to communicate with you even if you speak English, the universal language. They don't know the difference between a Madrasi, a Kannadiga, a Mallu and a Andhrite - we all are mallus to all those North-Indian fellas - yep the whole lot.They are Indians too, and yet they really don't care for any of these important details, I know. Their ignorance baffles me - and I admire your bravery to come all the way from the south of this brave nation to fight life's battles - food, clothing, shelter, and money - all this while the states of Punjab, Haryana and Uttaranchal disproportionately sends many of their ignorant chaps to join the Indian Army to protect this useless country. An I don't know why you are still staying there inspite of being so close to the Pakistani border - it's insane you know. You have to go back to your hometown and look for better opportunities there (I'm assuming they do exist, don't they?).

Dear ordinary citizens and mortals

My closest friends (by physical proximity) come from all walks of life - I know (by choice) the caste, economic status, religious affiliation of each one of them. But just because I have problems with the reservation system, or with any particular religion, doesn't mean I don't like my friends. Sometimes, their attitude pisses me off - so much so I show my displeasure frequently. But it's called life, and life is all about adjusting. I have to adjust to them the way they adjust to my various habits. I know they are not perfect, and neither am I.

I know the city I live is isn't perfect either - I have met and talked with Delhiites and I am surely pissed off with some of them. But then, we have our own ideas of perfection, and every state/city/country has its share of "idiots" and "loonies". I know that, understand that, and respect that. Hey, who would be make fun of if we were all perfect?

So stop cribbing about each and every fella you meet who strengthens the stereotype that you harbour about everyone around you. If you want, you can surely stay in your shell and crib about life and what it has to offer. If you have the "balls" to do so (figuratively), I suggest you adjust to it. And before cribbing about a certain North-South stereotype, think twice. This is the same Indian who lives his his own shell - and by criticizing him/her for what he/she is you are merely stooping as low as you think they are. If you don't like something, please ignore it, especially if there is nothing else you can do about it. If you can't, at least please stop blogging about it - else I'll stereotype you as that cheapo who does cheap stunts to stay in the news and to gain publicity (and I am not referring to the Congress Party in any way). Yep, I can and will do that - and not regret it - not because I love doing so. I thought about ignoring your kind for a long time, for many many years, but it has crossed the limit now.

Yours Sincerely

VRS.

Mr. Arvind Kejriwal’s study leave case- A legal analysis...

2011-09-09T16:50:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

I happened to read an interesting case study on Mr. Arvind Kejriwal. It was written by Mr. Amitabh Thakur (B.Tech IIT KGP), an officer of the IPS (1992), UP Cadre. He is a B Tech from IIT Kanpur who is presently undergoing Fellow Program from IIM Lucknow. He is also the president of IRDS (Institute for Research and Documentation in Social Sciences). It presents the facts in a clear way, and mentions that many such cases do exist. Please find below the case. I have made some changes to highlight certain information and made some changes to the grammar involved.

Mr. Arvind Kejriwal’s study leave case- A legal analysis

Mr. Arvind Kejriwal was with the Indian Revenue Service (IRS) when he was granted study leave for two years in 2000. As per information, he went on study leave from 1^st November, 2000, up to 31^st October 2002. He joined back on 1^st November, 2002. The three years got over on 31^st October, 2005 and he resigned in February, 2006.

Now, as per information in the Press, he has been asked to return his leave salary of Rs. 3.54 lakhs along with an interest of about Rs. 4.16 lakhs. There is another matter related with him where a balance amount of Rs. 54,000 over Computer loan along with Rs. 1.04 lakh of interest over that is being shown against him. I wanted to undertake a purely legal study of the matter.

I found that Rule 63(1) of the Central Civil Services (Leave Rules) 1972, dealing with “Resignation or retirement after study leave or non-completion of the course of study” states the following:

If a Government servant resigns or retires from service or otherwise quits service without returning to duty after a period of study leave or within a period of three years after such return to duty or fails to complete the course of study and is thus unable to furnish the certificates as required under sub-rule (5) of Rule 53 he shall be required to refund-

(i) The actual amount of leave salary, Study Allowance, cost of fees, travelling and other expenses, if any, incurred by the Government of India; and

(ii) The actual amount, if any, of the cost incurred by other agencies such as foreign Government, Foundations and Trusts in connection with the course of study, together with interest thereon at rates for the time being in force on Government loans from the date of demand, before his resignation is accepted or permission to retire is granted or his quitting service otherwise.

What is to be noted here is that the word used is this: “within a period of three years after such return to duty”. Thus, all it needs is that a government servant should come back to service and join his duty which Mr. Kejriwal did on 1^st November, 2002. Here, it should be mentioned that there is no requirement that the member of service shall remain in active service or any other such condition. Hence, a prima-facie reading of the rule seems to mean that a government servant needs to return to service and irrespective of the situation, which must include even the 2 years of extraordinary leave which was taken in Mr Kejriwal’s case, he is entitled to leave the service after a period of 3 years from return to duty.

Another fact that seems to give added weightage to this interpretation is that Rule 3(d) under definitions says the following:

“Completed years of service” means continuous service of specified duration under the Central Government and includes the period spent on duty as well as on leave including extraordinary leave.”

Thus, this also clearly makes extraordinary leave a part of period spent on duty.

These two rules taken together seem to legally point out that Mr. Kejriwal had completed three years in service before he finally resigned and hence was entitled to keep his study leave salary.

Regarding his computer loan, it is said that he stated that he wanted this amount to be deducted from his GPF account. This seems pretty logical and also would not have left any interest burden on him in a legal sense, if his resignation had got accepted in a stipulated time.

In fact, one very interesting fact that emerges in Mr Arvind Kejriwal's case is the delay that often occurs in acceptance of resignation from service. I have two friends from UP IPS, Mr. Dawa Sherpa who is now a leader in Gorkhaland and Mr. Kiran Jadhav, who is now in corporate world. They had resigned some 4 years ago but their cases are still pending and theoretically they are still in service. Another very case is that of Mr. Sanjay Pandey, IPS officer from Maharashtra and an IIT Kanpur graduate whose resignation has still not been accepted after so many years and who is fighting cases only to get his resignation accepted.

Thus, it seems resigning from Government is equally difficult as coming to government service.

Amitabh Thakur.

President, IRDS

Newer IIMs or existing prestigious non-IIMs?

2011-09-07T14:17:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

I do a bit of writing outside my blog too J For the last 1 year, I have been writing regularly for a magazine catering to aspiring MBA graduates. One of the topics I happened to write about was on whether students should prefer non-IIM institutes over the newer IIMs. If I were having this dilemma, I would personally prefer joining the newly-formed IIMs over other established management institutes any day. Here are my reasons for doing so:

1. Infrastructure: Most of the critics will say “The new IIMs lack the necessary infrastructure and adequate facilities”. But one can look at it in another way – “We can make the institute the way we want it to be!” Upgrading existing classrooms at the existing IIMs takes time and patience, but the classrooms at the new IIMs will start from scratch. News reports say that the new IIMs have adopted the concept of “smart classrooms” that would connect students across the new IIMs giving students the IIMs advantage of sharing of resources, learning from each other, and networking. With the backing of the Govt. funds are available to create necessary infrastructure at a good pace.

2. Mentorship: You are not alone, especially if you are in a new IIM. Each of the new IIMs is being mentored by one of the established IIMs (IIM Trichy by IIM Bangalore, IIM Ranchi by IIM Calcutta etc.), something no other new (or established) institutes can boast about. You will be taught the same subjects by the same professors – distance is never a criterion here as technology transcends borders J The new IIMs will have access to all the resources of the mentor IIM, including placement contacts.

3. Initiative: A new institute gives students a golden opportunity to take initiative and start things from scratch. New committees, new clubs, and new events – every student initiative would go a long way in building your institute – your IIM. Remember: Every IIM you know started as a new institute, without the necessary infrastructure or adequate facilities. But they are now the leading management institutions in the country, with their alumnus spread far and wide all across India. This is your moment to make a difference – seize it with both hands.

4. The Brand Name: IIM – these three letters carry a lot of brand equity in the industry. Using Govt. funding, the new IIMs will surely create a brand of their own in a short span of time. It makes much more sense to cash in on the brand name in the long run.

5. Student Numbers: Most of the new IIMs have a small intake (as these are early days), which brings with it many advantages. Every student would know every other student. Decision-making among the closely-knit students would be quicker, and everyone will get a chance to do something for the institute.

6. Exposure: The newer IIMs are located in smaller cities like Ranchi and Raipur. They would offer a different level of exposure to their students, and this would certainly benefit those who have lived in metros and other bigger cities all their lives. Students would be able to understand many of the local issues and can take initiative to develop their surroundings.

I know it would be a tough choice for most students to make, but keep in mind that a MBA degree takes two years to complete, but sticks with you for a lifetime. Think long term, and make a wise choice J

However, I would like to know the other side of this issue i.e. why one would prefer a non-IIM prestigious institute over a new-IIM. Any comments?

(The author is an alumnus of IIM Lucknow; Batch of 2009. You can view his detailed profile at http://about.me/varunreddy)

GMAT done; Promotion done !!!!

2011-09-04T14:13:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged about something. The last few months have been hectic indeed. More than the GMAT preparation, it was the researching for which colleges to apply to that freaked me out. So many institutes to choose from and none of them a sure-shot institute. In case you didn’t know, I am trying to gain admission for Ph.D in a US university/institute. I gave my GMAT on 25^th August, and I scored 740 in the main exam and 6.0 in the AWA section. Percentile break-up is as follows:

Section	Score	Max. Score	Percentile
Quantitative Ability	50	60	92
Verbal Ability	39	60	87

Total Score	740	800	97
Analytical Writing	6.0	6.0	91

As you can see, my scores are well balanced, spread out evenly in all areas. I guess my sun-sign helped :D Now looking at my score, one might think that it would be easy to find out which institute could be easy to get into, and which would be tough. But Ph.D programs do not have the same spread – hardly 2-3 students are selected each year for any Ph.D program in a single discipline. So looking at the mean/median/average scores doesn’t make much sense. I had to go through the faculty profiles, student profiles and study the information provided by the institute to ascertain the importance given by each institute to Ph.D programs in HR/OB. It was interesting to see that many institutes do give importance to the HR discipline (unlike many Indian institutes).

I had my promotion interview on the 26^th of August – yep the very next day!!! So soon, you might ask. After-all, it has been just 2 years since I’ve joined my current position. Well, in 2009 our corporation had instituted a Fast-Track promotion policy for professionals i.e. employees with a professional degree (MBA/CA/ICWA/LLB). Employees are eligible for promotion from Asst. Manager to Dy. Manager within two years of service in the lower scale (as opposed to 5 years for regular promotion) and from Dy. Manager to Manager within three years (as opposed to 4 years for regular promotion). Of course, being eligible for promotion doesn’t guarantee your promotion. But it gives professionals enough motivation to work hard in their initial years. I was a bit apprehensive. After all, my company is into International Trade, and the most important divisions in the company are Marketing and Finance. The next important division is the “Legal” division, as it handles matters related to the various cases from both Trade and Personnel disciplines. The remaining divisions, namely Corporate Communication, General Administration, Personnel Division, Building Maintenance etc. are the supporting divisions. I was very nervous before my interview (it being my first interview et.al) but I managed to give a very good interview. The result: Promoted to Deputy Manager, with the highest seniority among all those who joined my company in 2009 :) Pretty cool, isn’t it?

Yeah yeah, enough about me :P Next post: Non-IIM institutes or newer IIMs – the latest dilemma :)

Ciao.

Dear Interviewer...

2011-06-21T19:43:00.003+05:30

Hi friends

Off late, I have had the fortune (or misfortune) of attending interviews for various HR positions for different firms across India. They have ranged from telephonic interviews to videoconference calls. However, I’ve noticed one commonality in all these interviews i.e. the HR Manager, who is supposed to be my future boss, acts so naïve and ignorant, it makes me think – is the quality of HR in firms really worse than what I’d imagined it to be?

Let me give you one example for a recent interview, for the position of AM – HR (Talent Acquisition) at a reputed Telecom company. The position mentioned the following roles and responsibilities:

Ø Responsible for Talent Acquisition for entire Chennai and Kerala Circle.

Ø Handling end to end recruitments (which I’m doing in my current profile)

Ø Responsible for Induction and Exit Interview.

Ø Handling entire vendor management (which I can learn quickly)

I can guarantee you that my anger
supersedes that of Cartman any day...

After I’d applied for the position, the consultant told me that the role involves 80% Talent Engagement and 20% Talent Management as its profile. Naturally, I assumed that I would not be shortlisted for the profile, as I have had no experience in the former area. However I was shortlisted for the Interview. Now before you read further, please note the following points:

Pt. 1: I never exaggerate in my CV. I mention exactly what I did, in plain and simple words. With reference to the work experience, I mention what I did in the specific areas I have had experience in.

Pt. 2: The HR head interviewing me has my CV in front of him.

Pt. 3: I was shortlisted after seeing my CV and considering me fit for the role (which I assume is the case with most firms)

During the Interview, I was asked the following questions:

Q1. “Ok so did you join the firm through campus placement?” “Yes sir I did”. “Ok, so why did you opt for STC?”

The response I should have given: I would request you Sir to kindly refer to my CV which says “IIM Lucknow, batch of 2009”, and recall that the year 2009 was the toughest year for placements across all B-Schools. It’s not rocket science – if you’ve been in the HR Domain for at least three years, you would understand why I joined my current firm. A more appropriate question would be “Why still in STC?”, which I would have been happy to answer.

Q2. Your CGPA is so low. Why is that so?

The response I should have given: Sir, I am not joining a MBA institute for doing my SECOND MBA. I am here to talk about my potential to work in the profile that you have advertised in various job-sites. If my CGPA did matter, why did you shortlist me in the first place? I don’t want to give excuses about my CGPA - I agree it was pretty dismal - but I can show you my mark-sheets, and prove that my FGPA for HR is more than 7, more than a point above my actual CGPA.

Q3. We are actually looking for someone who did more than what you did in your current profile ...

The response I should have given: With all due respect (read: WTF dude!), I request you not to mislead me with your current profile. I have been very honest with what I’ve been doing in my current work. If you wish you deride my past or current achievements, please do not call me for an interview. It wastes time and money, both ways. I have sent my CV for a reason – not for using it as trash paper.

I want you to consider – why would a person working in a very similar profile want to shift jobs? Especially since you are willing to offer less than the average MBA package for students from “premier B-schools” (which you desired for your current profile). And yes, I would also like to remind you that what I did in the past should have no bearing on what I am capable of doing in the future. The interview is as much to ascertain my job fit, as it is to evaluate my potential for the role being offered. If you are not a good judge of that, it’s better we don’t meet, because if we do meet and if I am told once more that I am not good enough, without proper and credible evaluation from your side, I might just have to give you a piece of my mind.

(The author is a pissed-off premier B-School grad, who works in the Personnel Division of a Mini-Ratna PSU)

Narendra Modi and the UNPSA...

2011-06-20T14:28:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

This certificate, as reported by many bloggers, hangs
in the office of Gujarat C, Shri Narendra Modi

A few weeks ago, I happened to notice on Facebook many posts shared commending Shri Narendra Modi and the Gujarat Govt. for winning the United Nations Public Service Award, and on how this reflects on his governance in the state of Gujarat. Irrespective of my own personal feelings with regards to Mr. Modi, I decided to check on these awards, not to verify the authenticity of the claim made, but to understand what these awards are all about, and if there were any other Indians who have won this award.

The United Nations Public Service Awards are supposed to be the most prestigious international recognition of excellence in public service, that rewards the creative achievements and contributions of public service institutions that lead to a more effective and responsive public administration in countries worldwide. The first awards were given in 2003, and they are presently given in 5 categories:

Category 1: Preventing and combating corruption in the public service

Category 2: Improving the delivery of public services

Category 3: Fostering participation in policy-making decisions through innovative mechanisms

Category 4: Advancing knowledge management in government

Category 5: Promoting gender-responsive delivery of public services

Nominees are evaluated and the Awards in each category are given within the following geographic regions:

Ø Africa

Ø Asia and the Pacific

Ø Europe and North America;

Ø Latin America and the Caribbean, and

Ø Western Asia

So, even if we consider that only one entity from one region can win in any category, we can have a maximum of 25 winners each year. However, it so happens that the number of winners is very much less than that (around 12-16 each year) because some regions might not have suitable candidates for some categories in that year, or may not be aware of these awards. In some of the years, there have been two winners from some categories in the same geographic zone, perhaps prompting the UNPSA jury to have a 1^st and 2^nd place for avoiding such conflicts. Nominations have to be made by another entity than the institution being nominated, i.e. self nominations will not be accepted.

Since 2006, Indian entities have consistently featured in the winners list of UNPSA. The names and the categories they featured in are as follows:

1. 2006: Online delivery of land records, Revenue Department, Government of Karnataka, India (Category 2)

2. 2007: Information Technology and Communications Department, Government of Andhra Pradesh, India, for “e-Procurement Project” (Category 1)

3. 2008: Programme of Communitization of Public Institutions and Services, Government of Nagaland, India (Category 3)

4. 2009: Institutionalization of community managed drinking water supply programme and user level water quality monitoring, Water and Sanitation Management Organization (WASMO), Government of Gujarat, India (Category 3)

5. 2010: State-Wide Attention on Grievances by Application of Technology, Chief Minister's Office, Government of Gujarat, India (Runners-up, Category 1)

Based on the documents provided on the UNPSA site, there was also an Indian finalist:

1. 2008 (Finalist): Lokvani Society, Sitapur District, Uttar Pradesh (Category 1). My IIM Lucknow friends, recall the name from somewhere?

You can read more about these awards at the following link:

http://www.unpan.org/DPADM/UNPSDayAwards/UNPublicServiceAwards/tabid/1095/language/en-US/Default.aspx

So before lauding any particular person/state for his/her achievements, we could look at the complete picture and appreciate the good done by various other Governments and institutions for better service of the Indian public.

Ciao for now.

The Osama-ish trend...

2011-06-06T17:00:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

There was a clerihew that I had penned before the 2008 US Presidential Election, which went as follows:

Soon President Bush will vacate the seat

He's gonna let someone else take on the heat

The media still whines “Who'll it be - McCain or Obama?”

But the bigger question is – “Where on earth is Osama?”

I guess the latest hot-news is that Osama is no more on planet Earth, having been shot to death by a helicopter-borne assault by US special forces on a closely guarded compound in Abbottabad, 30 miles north-east of Islamabad, If this news is indeed true (I am not a non-believer, just that I am miffed by the secrecy involved), Osama must be in Paradise right now, in the company of 72 virgins, having a good laugh at everyone on Earth. After all, it took the entire might of the American Army more than 12 years (since 1998) to capture the one man who was responsible for dividing the world into two fronts, something that has not happened since the Cold War, with the world being “either with the United States of America, or with the terrorists”, as so famously proclaimed by Dubya in his address to the Joint Session of Congress and the American People shortly after the 9/11 attacks.

When my friend told me of this latest development in the decade-long “War on Terror”, I was not surprised or shocked even one bit. In fact, I was expecting an announcement of this magnitude to be made sometime before the end of 2011. After all, times are tough for the Democrat-President in the White House, with a Republican Majority in both Senate and the Congress. The incumbent needed to show that he’s making strides in the “War on Terror”, and the end of combat operations in Iraq was a significant step in fulfilling his promises in an area that the Republicans always consider Obama to be a bit soft on (Military operations / Wars / Terrorism). They needed a PR Coup, and they got one in the death of Osama. Beautiful Timing indeed J

"My mission of getting elected will surely be
accomplished, you suckers!" (Courtesy: AP)

The previous President Dubya had made a similar coup exactly 8 years before Osama’s death. On May 1^st, 2003, Bush announced the end of all major US combat operations in Iraq. Although this so-called “Mission Accomplished” speech was a PR failure in one way (as the Iraqi insurgent operations intensified later on, and that the image of Bush making the speech under the “Mission Accomplished” banner was criticized by many), it was one of the few turning points that Bush had in his bid to have another 4 years in the White House. It worked well, and we all know the results.

I think it’s not uncommon for Presidents to do something unusual in the middle of their first terms in office. After all, the Presidential race starts early, and the President wants to remain in the good books of the Public. I happened to look at the last four presidencies, and found the following “anomalies” (if I may call them so) in the middle of their first-terms as President. (Source: Wikipedia)

1. Bill Clinton: In a rare move, Clinton convened Congress to ratify the trade agreement in the winter of 1994, during which the treaty was approved. As part of the GATT agreement, a new international trade body, the World Trade Organization (WTO), replaced GATT in 1995.

Why: International Relations – perhaps he wanted to show himself as a strong leader of the Free World, who can be a unifying force too. Image building I guess. After al, he was one of the youngest Presidents to take over the office, and he might have wanted to prove a point or two to some of his detractors.

2. George Bush Sr.: As the unemployment rate edged upward in 1991, Bush signed a bill providing additional benefits for unemployed workers. By his second year in office, Bush was told by his economic advisors to stop dealing with the economy, as they believed that he had done everything necessary to ensure his reelection.

Why: First-term President, unpopular Iraq-Kuwait war, economic crisis.

3. Ronald Reagan: Two radical decisions taken:

(a) In 1982, Reagan signed legislation reauthorizing the Voting Rights Act of 1965 for another 25 years, even though he had opposed such an extension during the 1980 campaign. This extension added protections for blind, disabled, and illiterate voters.

(b) The invasion of the Caribbean island Grenada in 1983, ordered by President Reagan, was the first major foreign event of the administration, as well as the first major operation conducted by the military since the Vietnam War. President Reagan justified the invasion by stating that the cooperation of the island with communist Cuba posed a threat to the United States, and stated the invasion was a response to the illegal overthrow and execution of Grenadian Prime Minister Maurice Bishop by communist rebels.

Why: Actor-turned politician. Wanted to prove himself to his tremendous support-base. Support for minorities shown through the bill. Wanted to have a dramatic invasion, even if it meant invading a small country like Grenada – using

Cuba

/ Communism as the reason.

4. Jimmy Carter: His administration was short-lived, however he did make some major dents as the President.

(a) On March 26, 1979, Egypt and Israel signed a peace treaty in Washington, D.C. Carter's role in getting the treaty was so essential that the mantra for all parties involved was “no Carter, no peace treaty”.

(b) In the Joint Communiqué on the Establishment of Diplomatic Relations dated January 1, 1979, the United States transferred diplomatic recognition from Taipei to Beijing. The U.S. reiterated the Shanghai Communiqué's acknowledgment of the Chinese position that there is only one China and that Taiwan is a part of China. Yet, the U.S. unofficially recognized Taiwan through the Taiwan Relations Act.

(c) On July 15, 1979, Carter gave a nationally-televised address in which he identified what he believed to be a “crisis of confidence” among the American people. This came to be known as his “malaise” speech, although the word never appeared in it. Though it is often said to have been ill-received, The New York Times ran the headline “Speech Lifts Carter Rating to 37%; Public Agrees on Confidence Crisis; Responsive Chord Struck” later that week.

Why: Israel has always been a factor in every US Presidential election. China (PRC) was a growing threat, but US recognized the need top go with the winning side. Speeches have always been used to stir public confidence and Carter gave more and more of the same. I agree Carter did not make as many radical decisions as the others did, but it does show that US Presidents tend to act more politically in their first term than they would have in their second term.

Hope this was informative. Till next time.

ICC - Ignorant Cricket Councillors...

2011-04-23T18:45:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

"Sorry lads, you've to wait 8 more years
to celebrate like this once more" (c) AFP

Yes, India won the "World Cup". Congrats Team India, for managing to defeat 13 Cricket-playing nations to the top prize in the sport. And in 2015, you will have even a better chance, as you would be competing against just 9 other countries. No more having to deal with the Irish (and risk losing to an underdog), or the Canadians.

Just 10 countries will be allowed to participate in the next World Cup of India's favourite sport. Ok, that seems to be a fair number for a game that is not played my many countries, one might say. But there is a catch - only the 10 test playing nations will be participating in it !!! Ten cricket-playing countries? Are you kidding me? It's like calling only former Football World Champions and Runners-Up teams to participate in the next world cup, and shun the rest of the teams, saying that they are not worthy of playing at the World Cup.

So what gives Bangladesh the right to play the World Cup? It's the Test-status conferred upon the team after their historic win against Pakistan in the 1999 World Cup, after which they have managed to win three tests, (all against then-depleted sides Zimbabwe and West Indies). 34 of their 59 losses (out of 68 test matches) are by more than an innings.

What did the Irish team give to this World Cup? They managed to defeat Pakistan in the 2007 WC, but they bettered that feat by beating the English and the Dutch in the 2011 WC, and also gave a stiff fight to Bangladesh, West Indies, and India. They were professional, and more importantly, added colour to the game - the Irish did it literally, with their colourful hairstyles in support of the Irish Cancer Society.

What did the Bangladeshi team give to this World Cup? They managed to be bowled out for their lowest ever ODI total of 58, on their home-ground (Mirpur), against a team that barely managed to qualify for the QF (The West Indies). Adding salt to their wounds were the angry fans who pelted the West Indies team bus with stones on their way back to the team hotel, bringing into question the security of the players, and also ridiculous justifications by officials saying that even the Bangladeshi team bus was pelted (so its ok according to Bangladeshi Law to pelt players with stones if they lose the match?). And in their crunch game against South Africa, they gave another stellar performance, scoring 78 runs in total, and sharing the record for most team scores below 100 with Canada, Namibia and Ireland. (all non-test playing nations), and managing to lose by more than 200 runs, their 2nd largest defeat.

As Graeme Swann put it right - they have removed the "world" from the "World Cup". This decision is a disgrace to the sport, which is supposed to be the pseudo-national sport of the country with the 2nd largest population in the world. How will this decision help for the development of the sport? What is the ICC trying to do by shunting the presence of teams that would showcase the sport to the world, to regions which watch the sport possibly once in every 4 years? And what incentive do these countries have to play the sport, if they are not given a chance to showcase their talent in front of the world? Perhaps we will never have a chance to see another Kevin O'Brien innings, or another devastating stroke-making by John Davison.

Hiral Patel's classic shot will not be seen at the next
World Cup in 2015 (c) Associated Press

I don't need to point out to the reasons why the BCCI, oops I meant the ICC, has decided on such a format, which gives the sporting body more advertising revenues for more evenly-matched games. And perhaps the next World Cup will be more evenly contested, with the ten test-playing nations possibly playing each other at-least once before the knock-outs (similar to the 1992 format). And perhaps the winner would be a true winner.

But without playing any quality cricket with the top-sides in the world, which was at-least possible in the World Cups (until recently), how does the ICC expect the Associate teams to build credible teams for the longer formats of the game? By playing 20-20 cricket - something which is not even considered as cricket my most cricket purists? The decision is ridiculous at its very least.

The worst thing about this decision - it was floated and almost agreed to in the middle of the ongoing tournament! Imagine the plight of the Irish, or the Dutch players, who found out in the middle of the tournament that this World Cup could probably be their last one ever. What would have gone on in their minds? When the players lashed out at the ICC for this decision, they were totally justified in doing so. How would you feel if you are told, in the middle of an important project, that this is your last project and that your services would no longer be required after that? That's exactly how the Irish and the other Associate teams felt. And they were very vocally critical of this decision.

Anyways, I have no stake in the ICC, or in the BCCI. I personally find cricket time-consuming as a sport. But then, it is a sport, and live every other sport, it can thrive and become a true-global sport only when every country is given a chance to improve itself and prove its mettle in front of the world.

You can follow all news related to "Axeing the Associates" at this LINK.

Ciao for now.

Brothers in Arms? Or Brothers armed with fear?

2011-01-27T11:23:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

In a recent article in “The Hindu”, Siddharth Varadarajan (henceforth referred to as Sid) made some interesting observations into the complicated relationship between India and

China

, and on how the world perceives these two growing powers. It is not an unknown fact that the growing dominance of China (both militarily and economically) and its increasing presence all over Asia and Africa does make the Indian leaders uneasy and unsure of its intentions. In return, the closeness of India to the USA, and its kowtowing to the

USA

on many international issues, does put the Chinese leaders in a position of uncertainty.

According to Sid, based on his talks with scholars from the other side of the border, there are four problem areas w.r.t

India

The border dispute, which gives both sides ample talking points and reasons to doubt each other. The recent brittleness, as Sid suspects, is only due to this.

The presence of the Dalai Lama in India (and his so-called Tibetian Govt. in exile) which continues to threaten Chinese sovereignty, especially in the aftermath of the 2008 Tibetan unrest in Lhasa, which also resulted in a mass-scale attack on Chinese consulates all over the world, just a few months before the Beijing Olympics. I concur with Sid that the Dalai Lama in India is much better for China as compared to the Dalai Lama in the USA, and that the Chinese and Indians have to think about a post-Dalai Lama scenario and work towards a favorable position.

Chinese relationship with Pakistan, which even the Chinese scholars admit, was initially concentrated to balance the growing power of India in the region. But even the Chinese understand that the Indian juggernaut will continue to roll on, while the Pakistan is getting more unstable by the day. It is in the interest of both China and India to have a more stable Pakistan. Apart from the USA, only China wields more influence on Pakistan.

The “trust deficit”, which is more strategic-related than culturally-significant. The Chinese seem to believe that the Indians look down upon them (and I agree with a general statement that we are as racist as anyone else in the world, perhaps even more). But they happen to think that India, through its close relationship with the Western World, seems to be ganging up against China and making use of its influence and are willing to be used by the USA in return.

Over the last few years, the Sino-Indian relationship seems to be oscillating in a more frenzied manner than the usual disquiet of mistrust and uncertainty. This, in my view, is a good sign. One of the most striking factors in the Sino-Indian relationship happens to be the lack of trust between the two parties, and lack of understanding of their rising roles in World Affairs. We need to have more dialogue with them on more issues other than the border-related and trade-related issues. Yes, we may not always agree on certain issues, but with more dialogue, we can actually understand more about our neighbour and so can they.

As much as we Indians hate to admit it, the Chinese have surpassed

India

in many respects, both in economic and military terms. The Chinese have tried to alleviate poverty and improve the living conditions of their people. They have tried to bring upward mobility by understanding their society much more than we have ever tried to do in

India

. Instead of keeping the poor poor, the Chinese have tried to improve the spending power of the rural hinterlands and provide them with a more fluid income as compared to their peers in other countries. Before we try to look at the figures, we need to understand that the PRC is nearly three times as large as India, and more populated too. Yet, it is the most successful state-controlled economy that ever has been in existence. Not only has it maintained a growth rate that has befuddled economics and politicians alike, it has also expanded its presence in various countries, and realigned its strategies based on the need of the day. As neighbors, we have a lot to learn from the Chinese on how the state can uplift its citizens and yet maintain astounding growth levels.

You can read more at the following link: CLICK FOR LINK

The incident (thanks to Wikileaks once again) mentioned at the start of the article makes for a good read, and I am reproducing it here for your pleasure.

The U.S. ambassador in Paris met Michel Rocard, a former Prime Minister of France, in October 2005 for a chat. At the end, Mr. Rocard says “Speaking of the growth of India and China, along with all the other challenges confronting both of us, we need a vehicle where we can find solutions for these challenges together — so when these monsters arrive in 10 years, we will be able to deal with them.”

Talks a lot about our position in the world, right?

The deadliest virus...

2011-01-23T22:53:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

I am sorry for being gone for a long time now. I promise that I shall start posting good stuff regularly from now on (and this time, it shall be a promise that I would not want to break).

Why the hiatus? Let's just say it was a small break, one which I would not like to talk about in detail. But I do want to say I am thankful to the many people who kept exhorting me to start writing once more, especially guys who, in my knowledge, had never read my blog before ! Thank you folks, and I small not disappoint you further. I am not using the word "try" because this time, it's not a "try to do" but a "will do" thingie :)

Just to start of, I am sharing a post that I happened to share in my "official" blog, which I have deleted just now...

Meeting regarding implementation of a new IT system.

Participants: Mr. X (A top-ranked official in STC), Mr. A (IIT+IIM graduate from PWC), Mr. B (from NIC, India) and some smart STC officials...

Location: STC Library (Varun usually goes there to study the paper, and happened to see this. Events are not reproduced verbatim, however the essence is retained)

September, 2010; 12:10 am:

Mr. X (with an air of confidence): Well, we get the reason why modules P,Q and R (blah blah blah) are necessary, but why is module S needed here? I don't see any need of that being a part of the ERP at all - it seems to be a burden...

Mr. A: Well sir, Module S is designed to make sure your system has a backup, and also protect your system from any external virus attack. It makes sure that the systems remain functioning even in the case of any virus attack, so that you do not lose any data, and continue operations, especially with your branches.

Mr. X: Ok, but when the H1N1 Swine Flu virus was spreading all over the world, everything was disrupted and trading became chaotic. How will this system be useful in case of such a deadly virus attacks?

(Varun could help but overhear this statement and sees Mr. A and Mr. B, and the WTF look in their faces)

Mr. B (clearing his throat): Sir, I think what he meant a computer virus, and not a biological virus.

Mr. X (may be embarrassed, but not amused): Oh, ok. That's fine then.

Varun: (Facepalm+WTF+FML+LOL) at the same time (It's possible, trust me)

Just another day in the life of a Sarkari Babu. So what do you think?

Some of the reactions that I had got for my earlier post (both from FB and Blogger):

Nitin: Dude do you have any idea of the the system given to me...Its windows 95, 128 mb ram 10 gb hdd, office '97, 533 mhz processor. And the irony is that I used to work for "Some COMPUTER SOFTWARE Company" accrding to my elite section of colleagues who want ERP and god knows what....Damn be my stars and long live STC...

Raji Aunty: Nice :)

Shubham Singh: We do share some things in common ofcourse :D I can relate your experience with mine. I am the GOD of systems who can make 'PROGRAMS' on MS Excel, format a computer, install any damn software including 'ANTIVIRUS DEVICE' and fix those seemingly tedious but silly khatar patar :P I also know how to attach many attachments in a mail, convert word/excel into pdf, open many tabs in a single explorer window, listen to radio on explorer, knows what ERP is - There's a long list :)

Mayank Goel: Oh nice. As a PwC consultant I feel intelligent :P

Sunil Kumar Bishi: Varun - How could I miss a personal briefing of such a great development. Infact, I will talk to you in person to confirm the name of Mr.X and ascertain that my guess is appropriate.

Jealousy - a natural emotion...

2010-09-10T10:17:00.000+05:30

(Extracted from my personal diary / blog)

IPL-2 was one of the best things that happened to my sporting-life. But there are also things about it that I hated, and one of them was the Rajasthan Royals.

There was a match between the Rajasthan Royals and some other team in IPL2. When the line-up was shown, I saw a name crop up among the Royals – Paul Valthaty. He was actually the grandson of my grandmother’s closest neighbour in Mumbai. She and my grandma had been friends for more than 40 years. I, like the usual jackass, mentioned the name to my parents (who would not have noticed it anyways) and suddenly the entire house became excited as if one of their own was playing in the match. I could hear many “he has done so well in his life” and “look at him playing in the top league of the country for the former champions’ team (I happened to mentioned that point to them)”. They even called up that old-time neighbour when Paul came to bat. When he was our after scoring just 1 run, perhaps the happiest person in the house was me. Inside I was rejoicing that he was out so cheaply, although outside I showed no emotions (as usual).

Why did I feel that way? Inspite of doing fairly good in life, I was never told to my face “Good for you!” or “Well done!” Every mark I scored below 100 in school was met with criticism (for “where did you lose the marks”) and each time I topped my class, which was a fair number of times, the reply was the same, “You are just the class topper, that doesn’t matter at all because there are so many ahead of you in the country.” They had the patience to appreciate a stranger, whom they never me, but not enough to appreciate their own son, whom have raised for the last 25 years?

What I wrote after this (in my original post), was written in a fit of anger, and hence am not posting it here. But looking back on that moment, I felt I was (and perhaps still am) a very jealous person by nature, no matter how much people may say I am not (and no matter how much I deny that myself). I went to the extent of writing that “Nothing can be more mentally discomforting for me than staying at home”, something that I do not subscribe to.

But then, aren’t we all jealous in our own small ways? Isn’t jealousy just another natural emotion? If someone can do what you cannot do, and someone has what you don’t, you might console yourself with all sorts of excuses – only because you are jealous. Else what is need for an excuse there – he/she has it, and you don’t – it’s as simple as that.

The world is not fair, and it won’t ever be fair. But then, you know that already. We have to live with the fact that we can do what we want to do, only when we really want to do it. Waiting for things don’t make them happen, doing them makes them happen. But I guess I am not mature enough to realize that, yet.

Ciao for now.

Obama and the American Dream...

2010-09-08T12:02:00.001+05:30

What has been described by many in the media as a wrong move by Obama when he announced his premature withdrawal of troops from Iraq is actually a move that blatantly clarifies American policies and its vested interests. Let me highlight the points to be kept in mind before analysing further this audacious move:

The November 2010 elections are crucial for the Democrats to retain their stronghold over the Congress, Senate and Gubernatorial positions. Around 30 Senate seats are up for grabs, with no seat “safe” in light of the recent win of Mr. Scott Brown from the MA Senate seat that was held by the late Ted Kennedy for a long time. With the Republican Party surging ahead in many polls, it is a tough task for the Democrat contenders to retain their seats.
President Obama was elected on certain promises, one of which was of withdrawal of troops before October, 2010. By sticking to his promise, he would be able to build on the goodwill and improve his steadily-declining popularity ratings (one of his lowest ever).

3) The move was not a sudden move – it has been emphasized since the start of his term that he would be removing all American Military presence out of Iraq by 2010. It was a neatly built-up idea that is now being translated into a reality (Inception, anyone?)

Now we have to keep in mind that in the long term, this move is a testimony to what everyone has believed about the Americans – that each step they take in the name of Democracy is totally cloaked in self-interests. Surely, Iraq might not have been a Democracy before the American troops arrived, but it was at least not in shambles as it is now. And who will be responsible for rebuilding the country’s infrastructure? Well, American Firms themselves !!!

Are we not living a lie here? Is this how the cycle of growth and development should flow? American military firms need to keep running – so they use the military to bomb other countries on the pretext of Democracy (and these firms gain by supplying them the weapons used for this “mass destruction”). Then swoop – come in another set of Americans who call themselves the good guys. They help rebuild what the military has just destroyed. Hey let’s not forget the humanitarian aid that the various “American” firms send over to this country, all paid by American citizens who are “devastated” by this war.

Thanks to this, American firms become stronger and richer, and they use this power spread to other nations, employing thousands of young people who are now totally dependent on the well-being of the American economy. I do agree that the world is inter-linked, and that America, as a World Power, has spread its influence far and wide. But does it mean we should keep depending on their resources and money for each and everything concerning our lives? Well the beauty of it is, we don’t have to. But our own Government makes us so lazy that we end up depending on such firms. Our economy might have opened up in 1991, but the minds of the politicians remain closed. It is very touch for any local firm to compete on a global stage, and the Govt. Doesn’t make it any easier. Yes, the SOPs given to some sectors are laudable, but what about the areas that do need attention? What about encouraging budding entrepreneurs instead of churning out service class for filling up more American firms? Isn’t it unfair that we live mediocre lives while our counterparts in developed nations live lavish lives, just because they happen to be living in America?

I am not trying to spread Amerophobia among you more than the Indophobia and Chinophobia that America has spread among its citizens. Although I am in favour of the increase in Visa Fees (for reasons that I shall elaborate in another post), the rhetoric used in this regard, by a man considered the most powerful man in the World, is appalling to say the least. There is also a proposed legislation against firms that do not employ more than 50% of Americans in their payrolls. This cycle will continue to escalate.

Democracy, as a concept, is not viable everywhere, and more than the Americans it is the rest of the world that needs to realize that. China, with its pseudo-democratic systems, has risen far more than any other developing economy and is growth story is the envy of every major and minor developing nation. But even it is dependent on exports (40% of its GDP), mainly to Europe and America. But even China has realized that it needs to step up domestic consumption in order to sustain its growth, and depend less on foreign economic imbalances.

I hope our leaders are making wise choices for the good of our country, and not just looking at any upcoming by-election. The increase in prices of Oil and Gas are the first steps that our Govt. is taking to reduce our dependence external powers by balancing our accounts and reducing debt. Hope things move on in the same way, to make the Indian dream come true.

Facebook in the after-life...

2010-09-01T11:03:00.004+05:30

(Disclaimer: No offence meant to any religion here, just take this article lightly)

In my last 6 months out of blogging I have been involved into extensive chats with a lot of friends. Some of them raised a lot of funny issues, especially with the new fad called “Facebook”. In a chat with Sheekha, I once wondered how it would be like if one could actually update Facebook chats even after one is dead J Just the thought of it was funny enough, and I felt it could be one of my first posts once I re-start blogging.

Since death is a serious topic, it has to be dealt with through the viewpoint of various religions. Let us consider the case of Facebook being the common media here, and imagine how people from different religions would update their SMs on Facebook just before and after they are dead J Equally applicable to Twitter (when restricted to 140 characters)

Year: Around 2050. Location: Hyderabad, India. Middle-class old man in his 70s, about to die because of a prolonged illness. Grumpy character, young at heart. Family and friends are at his deathbed. (Else just imagine me dying at the age of 70, just to make it easier for you fellas to imagine)

Day (-2) Afternoon: Damn all this hullabaloo. Everyone wants to meet you only when you are about to die. Sickening attitude of the younger generation I say. Will update SM later on, have to “entertain” some distant relatives. Damn, these women just can’t hide their tears, can’t they?

Day (-2) Night: Good night people, hopefully I’ll get to see you tomorrow.

Day (-1) Afternoon: Yep still alive and kicking (figuratively). Too many cute kids around the bed, busy day ahead. Can’t they leave an old man in peace even when he is about to die?

Day (-1) Evening: Grandson arrives from America. Looks like he inherited his mother’s genes – looks as Chinese as any of them J He speaks strange, but am glad to have finally seen him.

Day (-1) Night: Ok another good night. Feeling really sick today. May not live to see another day. I guess “Die Another Day” doesn’t apply to be anymore.

Day (0) Morning: Yep, I am officially dead – now how cool is that!! Hmmm. A moment of silence for my soul – wait, that’s me!!!! Died peacefully in my sleep. Got to update my status to “Dead”.

Day (0) Afternoon: Breaks my heart to see all those crying relatives (HA HA HA!!!) - I’m now free you suckers!!! Yahooooo!!! Man, I love this Candid Camera thingie – being a soul is so freaking awesome!!!

Day (0) Night: Whoa!!! Feeling depressed seeing all those sad faces. Looks like those blokes really loved me, and were not after my money. Hmmm. Now I’m feeling sad (sob sob). I’ll miss them too. But death comes to us all, I guess.

Now I explore 2 scenarios – one for a Hindu, and the other for a Christian.

Hindu:

Day (1) Morning: Man, I did not know so many people loved me. I can even see some Facebook friends down here, people who I have never seen before. I’ll miss their online company surely.

Day (1) Evening: Body up for cremation. Life comes full circle once again. Hey, just realized that cremation and creation are separated by just 1 letter J English is a veru funny language J

Day (2): It’s fun moving all over the planet. Still waiting for Soul-Transfer order, I guess even God’s administration is run by the Government of India :D Meanwhile finally getting to see the Mona Lisa in Paris. Piece of crap it is. Thankfully never wasted real money to come this far. Will spend the night in Paris itself.

Day (3): Getting a sneak-peek inside the White House, and you will be amazed at the “affairs” of the administration J Damn, the secretaries are super-hot, I do not blame Bill Clinton even a little bit for his indiscretion!!! Amazing architecture (and I am not referring to the decorum here) :P

Day (4): Finally received orders… Looks like I’m going to be a human being once again – Yipee!!! I’m gonna be Warren Buffet III J Finally, God shows me the path to enlightenment!!! Cya folks, once I am ready to use FB once again… Signing Off…

Christian:

Day (1) Morning: Relatives pouring in, with their beautiful wives - Finally I can stare at people without making them uncomfortable :P Poor wifey seems inconsolable, but I’m finally free of her nagging!!! God is great!!!

Day (1) Evening: God gives me choice to either wait till I’m buried or start my journey towards the “Decision Box” (where my fate is sealed) right now. Decided to check out my fate than see the sorry faces of relatives.

Day (2): Moving upwards at a very fast pace… Already passed 4 galaxies and still no sight of the “Decision Box” or any life-form. Fate awaits.

Day (3): Finally reached the Box. Man, the line is long!!! Looks like God takes a lot of time to pronounce judgment on us. The stat-o-meter outside the room shows that 90% of the people end up in hell. Network reception is less here (high altitude) so will update SM once I reach the box.

Day (8) Morning: My turn next!!! Hope I end up in Heaven!!! Wish me luck fellas J

Day (8) Evening: Sad news. My Good:Bad ratio turns out to be 48:52… Was a close call. Finally God decided I must go to Hell, to set an example for other close-shaves like me (I wonder what Gillette has to say about this one :P) Got to change into the appropriate clothes in the Preparation Chamber.

Day 9: Just told that Heaven and Hell are similar, just that Hell does not have internet connectivity. My Nexus 25 will be confiscated soon (sob sob). Guess this is my last update. See you in Hell folks :D

What do you think?

Fleetwood Mac - Dreams...

2010-02-27T16:51:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

Since this is my last blog day, I decided to just mention a song that I have learnt to love, and hear whenever I feel down and out. This song has a history behind it, a fact I knew the instant I heard it. I hear many songs, but I can feel this one.The song is "Dreams", which was originally sung by the band "Fleetwood Mac", and later adapted by "The Corrs", which is the version that most people have actually heard.

The members of "Fleetwood Mac" were experiencing emotional upheavals while recording the album, named "Rumours". The drummer was going through a divorce, the bass player was separating from his wife, the keyboard player. The guitarist and the songwriter (Nicks) were ending their eight-year relationship. "We had to go through this elaborate exercise of denial, keeping our personal feelings in one corner of the room while trying to be professional in the other", explained the guitarist.

As Nicks explained "I sat down on the bed with my keyboard in front of me. I found a drum pattern, switched my little cassette player on and wrote 'Dreams' in about 10 minutes. Right away I liked the fact that I was doing something with a dance beat, because that made it a little unusual for me".

“We had to go through this elaborate exercise of denial, keeping our personal feelings in one corner of the room while trying to be professional in the other", said the Guitarist. Inevitably, their true feelings surfaced in the lyrics of the songs they were writing — most notable “Dreams.”

By the time “Dreams” was released, Rumours was already a platinum album, and Nicks’s song soared to No. 1 on June 18, 1977, quickly establishing itself as her signature track. The song was the only U.S. number one hit for the group, and remains one of their best known songs. “Sometimes you can get tired of singing a certain song over and over again,” she says, “but I have never gone onstage, either with Fleetwood Mac or in my solo shows, without singing ‘Dreams’. I don’t think I could.”

The lyrics of the song are here below:

Now there you go again
You say you want your freedom
Who am I to keep you down...down
It's only right that you should
Play it the way that you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat, drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had, And what you lost
Ooooh, say what you had, you know what you lost

Chorus:
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
They say, women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You will know

Here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself, yeah
It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of Loneliness

Like a heartbeat, drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had, And what you lost
Oooh, says what you had, you know what you lost

Chorus:
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
They say, women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You will know

Oh thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
They say, women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know
You will know
Oh oh oh you'll know

Ciao.

The End of Days...

2010-02-27T01:20:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

As much as I hate to do this, and as much as my near-and-dear friends told me “Don’t do this man, just don’t”, it is with a heavy heart that I am stopping this blog for a minimum of 6 months effective from today. I may re-start this blog from September 2010 onwards, subject to many conditions. I have been asked “Why now?” by all those who knew about this in advance, and sadly I have no reply to that question even now. It is a drastic decision from my side, a very rash decision. But I just felt that it needed to be done.

No, the movie “Leader” did not inspire me to make such a drastic decision. I had made my decision around 16^th/17^th of January this year. I was at the peak of my depression then, and I just wanted to do something drastic. I started evaluating what went wrong with my life, and in that process realized that the most important thing to me (apart from my parents) was my blog. It was not something that was wrong, but it felt like it had got to me. Yes I was in love with my blog, and each of its 25 followers, and each of the 63 people who have made a useful/encouraging comment in it as of now (Yes I do keep track folks). Their names I have listed in this link here (with due messages for each of them) for everyone to see.

My blog has been a very integral part of my life for the last 3 years. I have lived a complete different life though it – I have argued with folks, received threats, and got nice reviews for it. Some days, the only thing that kept me blogging was the fact that some friends used to tell me – “Dude, when we feel bored we open and read your blog. Always something good to read in it”.

I never tried to market my blog – and honestly I am very poor at marketing things. But I was content with what I wrote, as I wrote mostly for myself. Seeing so many people relate to what I wrote made me a very happy man.

This blog was supposed to be a good CV point, and you are all responsible for making this my best CV point yet. Thank you all for your support.

I hope that by September, I would be a more sensible and less frustrated person than I am now.

P.S. I have started a book-review blog (Link here) that I will keep updating as and when I feel like it. It won’t be regular, nor would it be addictive.

Ciao.

Today, in you, I see a Leader...

2010-02-26T21:36:00.004+05:30

This review may contain spoilers

Hi friends

Today I went and saw the movie "Leader". To be honest, I had no idea it was directed by Mr. Sekhar Kammula (till I saw the credits), the man who gave the world movies such as "Dollar Dreams", "Anand" and "Happy Days". This was his 4th movie that I could see, and I would like to mention this for the record - So far not a single SK movie that I have seen has disappointed me. And I am proud to admit that.

IdleBrain has give this movie a rating of 3 on 5, a gross underestimation in my view. I am honestly surprized that inspite of such a good review (just read the review at IdleBrain.com), this site gave the movie just 3 on 5! Honestly, I felt that this movie deserves a clear 4 on 5. The story was simply extraordinary.

Brief Summary: The current CM of the state dies, leaving the seat open to be claimed by a near-relative. Meanwhile the CM's son comes back from the US (Ph.D from Harvard at the age of 25) and deicdes to fulfil his father's last wish of his own son becoming the CM. He manipulates and plays his own politics, with the final aim of cleaning up the system and making all public money available for public use. He fights the system on his own, realizing his own faults and shortcomings in the process. His guilt finally overcomes him and the drastic action he takes at the end is the crux of the entire story - the transformation phase.

At the core of the whole movie lies the difference between the leader and a politician. The realization that he is no more a politician than any of the others around him is where the movie actually starts (which is nearly at the end). If the movie has to send a message, it did the moment the hero made the drastic decision towards the last 15 minutes of the movie. I am specifically trying to avoid making any reference to what he did, because that changed the whole story for me. Do see the movie for just the last 20 minutes - although the last 10 minutes of the movie was poorly directed (I really don't know why directors hit their own foot with a sledgehammer at the most crucial moments). It changed the whole game, and made the politician a leader.

Some of the scenes were beautifully crafted - the one where he talks to the father of the girl who was raped and murdered & the one where he decides to becomes the CM and plans on how to do it really blew me away! The scene where one of the MLAs talks about the "free-rice" scheme shows a true picture of the current situation in AP. The distrust that people have in politicians and the realization of the son that his own father had to become corrupt due to the system were shown beautifully.

"Rann" showed us the truth, and "Leader" shows us what could be the reality. Although IdleBrain called this movie "Idealistic", I felt that what the hero did could be done. He fought the system by being a part of the system. He hated doing so (every day he remembered what he did and how to undo anything wrong that he did), but did it, because he had a larger good in his mind. This movie does not have a single fight scene, and not one song-and-dance sequence. This movie does not call for a "mass-revolution" to bring about change, like most other movies in its genre/storyline. It does not make tall-claims of how a leader should/shouldn't be. The hero himself is torn by what he has seen and done, and knows when he is at wrong. But he remembers the bigger objective and always keeps that in mind.

The hero has a very commanding voice. It added power to the movie, and to his own character. However, the movie will be remembered more for the story than its acting, which was neatly paced. The rest of the cast play their part very well - especially the roles of Ali (played by Harsha Vardhan) and the Peddanana role played by Kota Srinivasa Rao. The only blot here could be the role of the heroines,which was frankly very limited, even by Tollywood standards.

I can go on and on about this movie. It was an eye-opener, a message of hope, a symbol of youth power and of belief in oneself. Do see it, now or some other time. And let me know if it made you feel any different than what I felt. I usually try to discuss how a movie impacted or what I learnt from it. But I have realized that some emotions can never be translated or penned own into words. They remain with you forever.

P.S. The title of this post is the English-translation of the words of the Chief Secretary of the CM after he makes his drastic decision.

Ciao.

Japan is to Asia what Germany is to Europe (And Aamir Khan)

2010-02-25T22:20:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

One of my batchmates @ NIT Kurukshetra from Kerala is one awesome chap. He calls me up atleast once every 1-2 months, and gives me gyaan! A lot of gyaan! Listening to him makes you more aware of the world than you have ever been before! The best thing - he is never drunk when giving this gyaan :) Just think how much more one could learn if he were actually drunk.

Anyways, he called me up a few days ago (I remembered that I still have his number stored in my mobile - can't forget some chaps I guess) with another dose of his monthly gyaan. And it was awesome as usual. We talked about many issues (well, he talked and I mostly listened), and here are some nice theories that he postulated on two issues. I will refer to him as PJ (just a short form of his name and not meant to be taken as a pun in any way)

1. Japan is to Asia what Germany is to Europe

PJ postulated that Japanese and Germans are very similar in their attitudes w.r.t. the rest of the people in their continents i.e. Japan:Asia as Germany:Europe. Some of his points of argument were as follows:

1. Sense of Humour: How many jokes have you heard that involve either the Japanese or the Germans? Compared to that, how many jokes have you heard involving the French or the Italians or the Chinese or us Indians? I hope you get my point. The Japanese and the Germans do not see the funny side to anything. They are the "point-wise people" i.e. very practical in their attitude.

2. Product Marketing: They are two of the most brilliant manufacturing giants in the world, yet they do not carry the tag of "the best marketed products" at all. Just think about it - Aston Martin, Ferrari, Fiat and Rolls-Royce have a brand image, a very distinct brand image, although they do not certainly make the best cars. BMW and Mercedes-Benz do make some of the best cars ever, but they are the best technologically, and not exactly practical for public usage. I have also heard of the dismal state of the customer service centres of BMW. From the Japanese side, we have our very own "Sony" - which can easily rival and even beat Apple ant time. But in our minds, more often than not, Apple steals the mind share more than Sony ever did.

3. Food: How many times have you heard of specialty Japanese / German cuisine, as compared to; say Chinese / French / Italian / Thai? For them, food is something they need to eat and serve, and not for marketing it around the world.

4. The God Syndrome: The Germans (Eg: Nazis) and the Japanese suffer from the “I am God” psychology – it’s not a generalization, but history has shown that to be true.

2. Aamir Khan's movies are all the same

PJ says that most of AKs movies revolve around a similar funda in a broader sense - You don’t see the repetitiveness because of gap in timing – comes every 2 years.

Ghulam: Man starts small, grows to become big in his own way. All people opposed to him, but eventually they like him.

Raja Hindustani: Man starts small. All main people opposed to him, but eventually they like him.

Taare Zameen Par: The limelight shifted on the kid, but Aamir tries to steal the limelight (I was also like you as a kid, and look where I am now)

3 Idiots: Small-town man, big ideas; Head of the college hates him, finally loves him.

I know this is too less to generalize, but most of his movies carry very similar themes. I felt the same. But it's the case with most Hindi movies, just that with Aamir, it becomes more pronounced.

Ciao for now. Enough for today :)

SRK, MNIK and Indian security...

2010-02-25T20:10:00.001+05:30

"When terror hit Mumbai, the Indian elite community was blowing with anger because they were affected. Abhi saale sab chup karke baithe hue hain Pune ke baad".

Hi friends

This statement, made by a friend of mine in a chat, got me thinking about this whole SRK, Shiv Sena and Pune blasts' issue. I rarely think about such issues, because I really have no views of my own on things I do not think about at all. After all, what SRK said was just a publicity stunt aimed at promoting his movie, right? And so was the reply given by the Sena and other anti-Pakistan activists in India, right?

I think simple, I hate complications in life. Hence two very simple points certainly came to my mind after thinking about this for a while.

1. What I wrote about the elite in a previous unrelated post made more sense seeing the practical visible situation in India.

2. The security apparatus in India may / may-not suck, but the lethargy of the Indian Security System is appalling. If they can provide security to so many theatres, I think they can also provide similar security to main city centres and other areas especially the ones that tourists frequent.

Let me elaborate:

1. The point that really hits my mind is the indifference shown by the elite towards anything that does not involve them at all. I know this is how they have reached the pinnacle of their careers (atleast most of them), but the common man expects something from them.

I think if everyone understands the principle of "Giving back to the society", there would be no need for Communism or Socialism, as these concepts talk about the greater good. If the elite start thinking of ways to contribute back as much as possible, the world would be a much better place and the greater good will finally happen.

2. Truly speaking, SRK works up a lot of magic. He can get villages to light up using just a tank-full of water (Swades), or in this case - one threat and the entire theatres get full security. Can't we have atleast 50% of that security in other areas on other normal days? Is it too much to ask? (P.S. I have nothing against SRK - he is a great actor and a down-to-earth guy, a very recent revelation). Do we need to be so reactive in nature?

Indians have always been reactive. We happily suffered under the British, waging our lone small battles. And we needed a dhoti-wearing baldy to come and tell us - "What the f**k are you doing? Don't you see what is happening to you and what they are doing to you?" They asked him - "What can we do?" And he gave them the mantra we still follow today - "That's the beauty of it - Don't do anything. But let them know you are suffering. The guilt will drive them away". Now as we moved on, we became so much of a passive reactionary race that we see the problem, and say to ourselves - "I see you coming. But you are so far away - so I will wait. When you come close, I will strike".

Reactive is what the common man is. Hence we elect our representatives to be the proactive people and fight it out on our behalf, to identify our problems and give us the solutions. But they are more interested in saving their arses rather than yours or mine.

Ciao for now.

Partial Recall

2010-02-22T19:05:00.002+05:30

Hi friends

As much as I blame myself for not being able to remember much of my school days, there are always 2 events that will remain etched in my mind (although not with the best-possible clarity). These two events made me realize two important things in life (in retrospect):

a) I do not make a good leader and am very poor at controlling or monitoring people

b) Although I love working hard on many things, I hate taking credit for that that thing I worked on – I am happy being No. 2 (atleast in my state of mind)

The events are as follows:

1. It was in the 6^th/7^th grade (I do not remember properly). The class teacher asked for nominations for people to become the class monitor (CM). There was a great deal of support to make me the CM (except for the fact that I did not want to become one). To make the process absolutely-democratic, my teacher allowed multiple votes (one person could vote for as many people as he wanted to, by show of hands). I voted for everyone, but me. Of a total of 60-65 students, I remember getting around 48 votes and won (reluctantly) by a huge margin.

The choice of making me the CM was fairly logical – I was the classroom-equivalent of the now-deceased former speaker of the Parliament Mr. GMC Balayogi. I was never the controlling authority, and was only the requesting authority – I used to request everyone to remain silent during the transition between one class and the next. But as was the case – no one cared to listen, and the decibel levels were at its peak then.

One day, the PT master (Mr. Augustine) was staking a stroll in the balcony, and he heard this hollering. He burst into the classroom (to a sudden pin-drop silence) and asked me to point out the person who was responsible for the noise that he heard before. I, being the most-scared person in the class at that moment, pointed out a first-bencher, who I knew was the meekest person in the classroom then (and who would not want to take revenge on me later on). The poor guy got a big trashing, and we were all ordered to go the ground for a PT break of 30 min.

I still owe that guy an apology. He was the only person who liked my mom’s upma (and I used to exchange my tiffin box with his whenever my mom made upma) and was a good guy. I hope he reads this and accepts my apology.

P.S. The “meek” guy is now a champion body-builder (my school friends would know who I’m talking about) and can bash me to a pulp if he wishes to.

2. I was 8^th Grade, and I guess Mr. Inniah was our English teacher then. He finished the entire syllabus by September and asked all the 3 sections present to make put up small skits (one per section per day per chapter) from our supplementary book (“The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”) and the winning section would receive some grace marks (I think this was the incentive) in the end exam.

I was very interested (probably because of the incentive) and took this task to my head. I tried to design the plays and make them more interesting in many ways, like using some common props, using sound effects, and also Indianizing the skit (all explained below).

Props: I got my classmates to bring various coloured shirts to wear during the skits, got one of them to remove his shirt (as the scene demanded it) and also used various left-over chart-papers to create additional effects.

Sounds: In a scene where Jim (one of the protagonists of the book, played by Joel Joseph) gets slapped by someone, I stood outside the class to create a loud noise (by clapping my hands) and the effect was reinforced by a accidental slipup that caused Joel to fall down at the exact same moment – this was the most authentic scene of all the skits – and everyone felt that Jim was indeed slapped hard in the face!

Indianizing the skit: I used some casual Hindi slangs (like “yaar”, “abey”, “kyon”, “chal yaar” etc.) to make the play more funny and put an Indian touch to it. It was appreciated by the teacher.

As much as I hated it, I was forced to play Huckleberry Finn in most of the skits. I somehow convinced everyone that HF’s role be rotated, so as to remove the monotony - the real reason being the fact that I hated to play the lead role, and would have played Jim, had it not been for the fact that Joel was perfectly suited for the role (and I had to convince him a lot for that too!). At the end, I was happy that we won (I think we did win) and didn’t care about the credit, as I was a part of the victory too, and that was good enough for me).

Just two small stories that I thought of sharing with you all.

Ciao.

MBA mat kar, mat kar...

2010-02-19T16:51:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

A small post in continuation of this awesome email forward that I got before, modifying the dialogue of the movie "A Wednesday". I decided to use the famous "Daaru mat pi, mat pi" dialogue from the movie "Amar Akbar Anthony" and modify it under my (and many other friends') current circumstances...

Here it goes:

Scene: Kapil is completely drunk and in a state of happiness and sadness at the same time. He just received his first salary after 2 years of slogging for his MBA. In this scene, he is looking at his face in the mirror and is addressing himself.

Basssss, ho gaya ghisai? Khush, khush hai kya tu saale?

Tere ko main iska vasteyich bolta tha ki yem-bee-ay... mat kar, mat kar, mat kar yem-bee-ay..., bahut kha...... khatarnaak cheez hai yem-bee-ay.... Do saal ghisai, phir life time ki chudai.

Tu agar yeh yem-bee-ay nahin kiya hota, to kya woh saala Lee-man wala recession tere ko kuch kar sakta tha? Bolo...

Bol, kya tere ko aisa job milta bey saale? Bol...

Arey Kapil bhai, tumhe akela paanch, paanch company le sakthe the.. Tere peeche pad jaathe the saare, haath mein faram liye...

Par tu apunka suntayich kidhar hai!! Kidharyich sunta hai?

Dek dek ab apna woh hara pathi (salary slip) ko dekh...

Dek use, tere us espe-shal file main laga ke raktha hain naaa.... Dekh, kitna kat gaya tera life mein bhai... Dekh...

Pakka idiot dikhta hai usse lekar tu... Pucca ee-dee-yat....

Abhi tum fikar nahin karne ka samjhe, apun tera mast, ekdum rapchick naukri lagwane ka koshish karega, fikar not... Are baba, darta kai ko hai? Bas fikar not... fikar not... hain......."

This post is completely fictional and does not relate to any person (living or dead) or incident that might have happened.

Dedicated to all my fellow peers affected by the recession - sorry - "slowdown" :)

Ciao for now.

NREGA ya MAREGA?

2010-02-19T14:44:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

This small piece is taken from two articles in Mint giving opposite perspectives to the NREGA scheme of the Congress(I)-led UPA Govt. The first article talks about how NREGA has helped increase the disposable incomes of people from rural areas, and the second article talks about how NREGA might shunt the long-term economic development of the country. I will try to illustrate both sides of the story, in a point-wise format below.

What is NREGA?

The National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (now called "Mahatma Gandhi NREGA") is a scheme that provides a legal guarantee for 100 days of employment every financial year to adult members of any rural household willing to do public work-related unskilled manual work, at the statutory minimum wage of Rs.60 per day. It aims at enhancing the livelihood security of people in rural areas. The Central government outlay for this scheme has been Rs. 39,100 crores ($8 billion) in FY 2009-10.

Positive side of NREGS:

1. Around 80% of the workforce is constituted by rural women, who were previously economically unproductive. By working under the scheme, women are able to bring in supplementary income.

2. Most villagers prefer to work under NREGA rather than in factories nearby since the scheme entails 8 hours of labour a day against the 12 hours workers have to put in at the latter.

3. It has increased “bargaining power” as well as household incomes among the poor in rural areas.

4. NREGA serves as an effective safety net for the unemployed, especially during years of famine and drought.

5. For a change, the money seems to be percolating down to where it needs to reach, resulting in the generation of income. People don’t need to go off to cities any more during the lean season.

6. It appears NREGA has succeeded in removing the kind of wrenching poverty that most of the communities have endured so far.

7. NREGA does not just give wages to labour, but also creates community assets which are useful for the villagers in the long run. To widen the scope of asset creation under the scheme, the Centre last year tied NREGA to other government schemes related to agriculture, water resources, land resources, forests and rural roads.

8. In the long term, the actual physical work done via NREGS might prove to be trivial in the face of the social and administrative gains it brings, if utilized properly.

Sounds great, right? Well it is good considering the situation that the poor of this country are facing today. But then there are always two sides to the same coin.

The negative effects of NREGS:

1. Economic development necessarily involves the movement of people from low-productivity to high-productivity jobs. NREGS creates perverse incentives for poor villagers to stay behind to earn a basic income for 100 days a year rather than take the risk and venture out to seek more productive employment.

2. NREGS effectively puts a floor under rural wages, leading to labour shortages during harvest time (a problem faced by farmers).

3. Poor implementation of NREGA in states such as Bihar and Uttar Pradesh.

4. Payments to workers are being delayed as there is a late measurement of work.

5. Only 19% of the 850,000 differently abled people registered for the scheme have got work under NREGA.

6. The so-called elite groups within the workers capture most of the job cards. In Bihar, it was observed that only the people of the dominant caste got the job cards whereas the Dalits were denied participation. (Jobs cards are given to workers to enrol them for projects under NREGA)

What was my take on this?

Point 1 of the "negative-effects" was something that I have always believed in. I know it, because in a very different, yet related way, I am facing it myself. Although I believe that it will take some time before we see the effects of this, but my assessment is that NREGS must have indeed brought about social and administrative gains in the society. But these measures need to go hand-in-hand with the economic and fiscal scenario that we face. Economic development will happen when people seek better jobs and take more risks. With more than 60% of the population below the poverty line, it will take a while before we ensure that everyone feels secure. But once we reach the critical-mass, we need to take effective measures to ensure that the system does not depend solely on NREGS. I hope our sensible Govt. headed by an economist, is listening.

P.S. The title of this post is inspired by this faking news article.

Ciao for now.

The Choice...

2010-02-18T20:05:00.002+05:30

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" - J.K. Rowling

Radesh looked out of his office window, from the 34th Floor of his office building in Manhattan. Looking down at the people, walking like a stream of ants was one of his stress-busting mechanisms in operation. As strange as it may sound, this insignificant activity always gave him a sense of confidence, a feeling that he can take on the whole world. "Sir, there is one Mr. Himanshu wanting to see you, says he is an old friend. Should I send him in?", Ms. Suzy asked her boss over the intercom. "Himanshu? What is he doing here? After all these years?" Radesh mumbled to himself. "Yes send him in", he told her, with reluctance in his voice.

Himanshu stepped into his posh office. "Being the Vice President of a firm such as this surely has its perks", Himanshu felt jealous at Radesh's success. In college, no one even dreamed that he would go on to scale such heights in his career. Rising from the rank of an engineer, Radesh clawed his way to the top. He was hard-working and sincere, which was enough to attract the attention of the top-management. "He made all the right choices I guess", Himanshu wondered.

"Hey Himanshu, kaisa hai bey tu? No call, no email, just dropping by all of a sudden? I hope things are fine with you"

"Hi Radesh. Well, sorry about that boss. I wasn't aware that we did not exchange our mail ids at all. I was in this city for something related to my work, and Kinjal told me you work in this area. So I took your address, and decided to drop by and surprise you. How are things with you?"

"Things are fine. I was made the Vice President of the firm last month, so things have been a bit hectic lately. Luckily, Manya is a very adjusting woman, so my professional life has not affected my personal life in any way. So life's good. What about you? Where have you been all these years?"

"Travelling all over the world. Thanks to my hectic schedule, I never had the time to settle down and start a family. So I quit my job, and started my own business, in AC Parts Manufacturing. It's running pretty well so far - we made our first profits 6 months ago. And have never looked back since. Got married two years ago. We are expecting our first child in three months"

"Hey congrats! Good to hear that. I always wanted to start my own firm, but never had the guts to take that risk. Once I got married, it was all about the family and the kids. Phew, man! You know it's really a surprise meeting you after a long time, considering what happened between us that night..."

"Yes Radesh, I can understand. But past is past. It cannot be changed. That's the reason I came over here to meet you. I came over here to apologize for whatever I said to you. It was very wrong of me..."

"No man, there is nothing like that..."

"Radesh, please allow me to finish. It has been what, 15 years? For 15 years I regretted what happened that night. You know I was drunk, very drunk..."

"Yes I know..."

"And I failed to realize that you were truly in love with her. And that she loved you too. For her sake, you gave up your seat in IISc man - you know how stupid that move was? Just because you could remain in Delhi where she was posted? For 4 years I was your friend. For 4 bloody years. I used to keep telling you - career comes first, career comes first, and kept telling you the same thing over and over again. But you did not listen to me at all, nope"

"Arey yaar, see..."

"When I saw you at the reunion 10 years ago, I wanted to ask you how you were. But did not have the guts. I was in touch with Kinjal, who told me about your marriage, and on how you were struggling in your job. I did not know if you had forgiven me yet. So I stayed clear off you. And then with all this travelling, I forgot all about this, until last year. I wanted to meet you and ask you for your forgiveness, but never knew if you would forgive me or not. After all that I said to you and to Manya that night, I was very ashamed to even face you"

"Abey sun to le..."

"Now you know what, I am glad you did not listen to me. I am extremely happy that you followed your heart. Look at you now - Vice President. Successful man. You made the right choice Radesh"

"Arey yaar, c'mon. You were my good friend and I am sure you were thinking about my own good. I knew you were drunk and all. But for the next 5 years, my life was pretty hard. Although I was posted in Delhi, I was sent to various other places regularly. It was tough for me, and Manya too. To convince her parents was the biggest challenge I have faced in my life so far. And everyday I used to keep thinking "What if Himanshu was right that night? Did I make the right choice? Was I blinded by love then?" I even contemplated writing GATE once more.You know Himanshu, I always envied you. At the reunion, I was afraid to face you. I felt you were right. And that you would remind me of my decision and mock me. For the first time, I felt like a loser. Kinjal told me about your travels, and I was happy that you got what you wanted".

"I did, but it was nothing like I thought it was. MBA is harsh man, very harsh. And Consulting is tough on the body - all those hours of travelling sucks. You know, for a while, I felt that that the choice I made in the heat of emotion would have been better if left for some other day. But I wanted to prove a point to you - that you made the wrong choice and I didn't. But it finally turned out to be just the opposite..."

"No no, why do you feel like that yaar. You know there is an old saying that "There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice". I always remember this quote whenever I feel down and out. You lived your life according to your own choice, so did I. How many of our friends you think actually made decisions according to their own choice? They will keep thinking "What If? all their lives - you and I won't. Because we made our choices, and stuck to it. See where it got us now - you have your own firm, which you always wanted. I have a successful professional career,which I wanted. In the end, it doesn't even matter, right?"

"Hmmm... True, true... But still..."

"See, Stephen Covey once said that until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise". We lived a life according to the decisions we made, and I for one don't regret it. The end is all that matters, don't you think so?"

"Hmm... I guess in the long run it all evens out... So this means you forgive me?"

"Abey, tu bhi naa. Ok, I forgive you. Khush? What forgiveness man? It was a moment of stupidity that both of us took seriously. Dil pe mat le yaar. Mistakes dono taraf huyi thi. I must also ask your forgiveness you know. Anyways, how are your parents and your little brother, Sonu, right?"

"Haan. Sonu is doing well. He cracked IIT and is now working with Google India. Dad is having some heart troubles, but he is doing well too. And mom is, you know naa, just the usual. Man, you have become quite the philosopher!"

"Sunke accha laga sonu ke baare mein. Ha ha ha! Newly married hai naa tu - wait for a few more years, and then you will understand! Phew. It's been a long time since we had such a conversation. Remember how we used to talk about stuff like this in college?"

"Yeah... Wasted a good number of man-hours in sh*t like this. Good atleast one of us made use of it in the right sense"

"Baap re... Tu sahi mein MBA kiya hai bey. Man-hours kehte - aise jargon kaha se utha leta hai tu?"

"12 years consulting kar le, sab seekh jaaoge Radesh, sab seekh jaaoge"

"Anyways, you free for dinner. Manya ko call kartha hoon. She has taken leave today, so she can cook I guess. What say?"

"Ok. but facing her after such a long time, especially after all that..."

"Arey tu phir se usi cheez pe atak raha hain? You know Manya keeps asking about you every once in a while. I am sure she will be very glad to know you are coming."

"Really? Let's hope so Radesh. Let's hope so..."

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” - Cherie Carter-Scott

Job Satisfaction, Ph.D and Maturity...

2010-02-17T22:52:00.000+05:30

This post is adapted from another post in my personal diary that I maintain in the form of a blog (and is only accessible to me). It was written after a lot of thought and deliberation.

Hi friends

Having so much free time (Boss has gone for campus recruitment, leaving me fultoo free for other activities), I have been blogging like crazy the last few days. Chatting (with many friends) and blogging have never been more fun I guess!

Now a days, one of my IIM friends from Assam calls me up almost once a fortnight and we have a nice chat about our work routines and life. Looks like he is getting pretty nervous about his marriage this April :D One thing I can sense in his voice (and also in mine) is that our work satisfactions are low. Even though we are happy to get a job, even he, with a really good paying job, is not enjoying the grind. I guess there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch, right? If you want the big bucks, you got to grind your arse up.

At least there is one guy who feels that my future Ph.D plans are not crazy – my junior Anup. He also plans to become a professor later in his life and it would be great if we could go to the same university somewhere in Europe (I have had enough of the USA).

My work is going somewhat ok I guess. Everyone in the office has been really co-operative with me, apart from one person, whom I shall henceforth refer to as “the one who shall not be mentioned”. I know I am not exactly the kind of guy one would like, but I am certainly not the kind that one would hate.

Life is going pretty much smoothly. A close college friend always used to talk to me about the need for guys to have a girlfriend to share their “emotional side”. I never really felt the need to express my “emotional side” to anyone, because I don’t think I have one at all. It’s just that I feel emotions too, that’s all, like any other human being. But an emotional side, well that sounds complicated & huge. It makes me look like a weakling, someone who needs something so badly that he/she can’t live without it. And no such thing can exist for me, nope. Not even the Internet. Not even chatting :)

The closest that any one can be in my life are my parents. They are the ones who gave birth to me and made me who I am; hence I have an obligation (read: love) towards them. This brings to mind a certain incident, which, on later introspection, made me see this other side to myself.

It was in school, in the 5th grade I think. My mom was supposed to pick me up and she had been picking me up from school for quite a few days. I think I was staying late from school because of that quiz club idea , hence my auto wala used to leave, so my mom was there to pick me up daily. The instructions given to me were pretty clear: My mom will come by a particular fixed time. If she is late by more than 15 minutes, then I was supposed to go home on my own. That particular day, I was out very early, so I came home (I had a set of home keys with me then). I then realized that I was supposed to wait for mom, as my coming home was dependant on her being late, not on me being early. I was panicked and tense (this was the time when no one at our home carried a mobile phone).

When my mom came home, I remember this conversation happening – it was originally in Telugu.

Mom: You came home? So early?

Me (Quite tense and panicked): Yes mom, oh I am so glad to see you. I came back early today as I became free early. But I came home and remembered your instructions. I was so tense you know. I remembered that you have high BP and on seeing me missing, you would have become very tense about it and perhaps panicked.

Mom: So you were tense and afraid for me because I had a high BP?

Me: Well, yes. I know that you have it and it would have made you tense and angry, right?

Mom: Hmmm....

I never understood if I had done anything wrong then because I saw that my mom’s reaction was very different from what I expected. It was this – I was tense because she had BP, not because she was my mom and I love her. The emotional connection was beautifully outsourced to a physical malaise and the reason for this was because it hadn’t developed in me yet.

My dad keeps telling me (even to this day) that I have not yet matured. I know what he means. In my view, my brain is an amalgamation of the emotional brain of a smartass kid and the sharp-shooting brain of a wiseass. In other words – it’s simply an emotional hotchpotch inside that tiny head of mine. This makes me immune to the feelings of love, pain and even death. Creepy? Yes, because though sometimes I am able to sense those feelings inside, I am unable to express them as and when needed. When I need them, they disappear. Weird...

Ciao for now. Thanks for reading.

Lahore Calling Karthik :D

2010-02-17T16:25:00.002+05:30

Hi friends

I am eagerly waiting for the release of two movies - "Karthik Calling Karthik" (KCK), due on 26.02.2010, and "Lahore" on 19.03.2010. I am very optimistic over Bollywood for the first time in my short life on 24 years on this planet (thanks to RGV's "Rann" which I liked a lot!)

KCK floored me with its awesome music, and with its simple, effective trailer(s). Yes, the trailer matters to me as much as the movie itself. If a RTI was filed against me asking for what I look for in a movie, it would perhaps look like this:

Bollywood:

1. New Concept / Originality: 15-20%

2. Trailer: 25-30%

3. Appealing Music: 15%

4. Storyline: 15%

5. Screenplay / Casting / Feel-Good factor (after seeing the movie): 20%

6. Other factors (Mood before/after seeing the movie, and other personal factors): 0-10%

Hollywood:

1. New Concept / Originality: 20%

2. Trailer: 30%

3. Genre (Sci-fi / Romantic Comedies preferred): 10%

4. Storyline: 20%

5. Screenplay / Casting / Feel-Good factor (after seeing the movie): 20%

Tollywood (and other languages):

1. New Concept / Originality: 20%

2. Trailer: 0-10% (rarely seen any)

3. Reviews: 20%

4. Storyline: 20-30%

5. Screenplay / Feel-Good factor (Entertainment): 20%

6. Other factors (Mood before and after seeing the movie, and other personal factors): 10%

(This is just an estimate, and not a guarantee of the way I have rated movies over the last 4 years)

So you see, the trailers and "the feel-good factor" matter a lot to me. Trailers show what the movie actually has to offer. Movies like "Get Smart", "W", "Tropic Thunder" and "Bandidas" received high ratings from my side solely because their trailers cemented a certain impression in my mind even before seeing the movie, and the feel-good factor! But yes, there are always exceptions like "American Beauty" whose trailers created a wrong impression, which changed (for the better) once I saw what the movie had to offer.

Now for KCK - the movie seems to be worth a watch judging by the trailers, but its songs are a revelation! The music is simply breathtaking! Rarely have any Hindi songs made me experience the "Ear-worm" phenomenon (in a non-threatening way) as much as the songs of KCK. I keep humming its tunes, and the songs run in my head more than any other thought!

Coming to "Lahore" now. This article in Mint titled "Indo-Pak harmony served with a kick" tells it all - another unseen sport (kickboxing) filmed with an Indo-Pak setting. Sounds cliche, right? But I feel that this movie will be different from many of the earlier sports-related movies because (a) It deals with a sport I am yet to see and which is not known to many (b) SPS Chauhan, the director, used to be a professional fighter himself and has represented the country on several occasions & (c) There are no mainstream actors in the movie. I have not seen Farooq Shaikh and Sushant Singh on the big screen in a long time. I have admired Sushant since his role as "Victor" in the movie "16th December" and have always wondered why has he been regulated to the No. 2 roles in movies.

I just hope both these movies live upto my expectations. After all, I evaluate the movies on many other unknown parameters too :)

Ciao for now.

Chasing Amy...

2010-02-16T17:16:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

After 2 years and 3 months since my Sir suggested two movies in a comment to this post, I finally decided to see the movie "Chasing Amy", and happened to start seeing it exactly at 11:58 pm on February 14th, accompanied by pizza and darkness (The lights were shut off so that I could have a real movie experience).

Brief Summary: Holden falls in love with a lesbian-identified Alyssa. She never opened up to a man before, and is relishing every moment of it. But his best friend, Banky, a possible homophobic (because one scene makes it look for sure that he isn't one, or may be he was just drunk), tries to get them to separate in many ways. What happens next is what you need to see to understand.

I was not at all surprised by the very open sexual dialogue(s) in this movie. In a movie where a man falls head-over-heels for a lesbian, there is nothing more to expect! What I liked was the way the story progressed - perfect pace. There was nothing special about the movie - and that's what made it very special to me. Addressing one of the most complex love-stories possible, Kevin Smith made sure that the audience remained captivated and entertained till the end.

Who is Amy? Who is chasing her and why? I thought that the actress was called Amy and that the hero would chase her and succeed to convert her at the end of the movie. But then, she is Alyssa. And she falls for him very early into the movie. Hmmm.

But the brief scene in which mentioned "Amy" was the turning point of this whole movie. You can never ever expect the ending - No way. what Holden thinks and imagines is beyond anyone's wildest dreams! But I empathized with Alyssa (although I still cannot come to terms with the LGBT community) and understood her feelings very well. During the movie, I could understand each and every thought that was going on in her head - for a moment I felt I had cracked the the eternal mystery of "What Women Want", like some code!

The movie addresses love in a way we have never seen before (atleast for me). This is not a movie meant to be seen for its acting, but for its story and dialogue. If you want 100 minutes of entertainment and rib-tickling confused-love, this is certainly the movie for you.

By the way, Kevin Smith has made other awesome movies like"Clerks" and "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". If you liked them, then make sure you see this one too.

Thank you Adi Sir for recommending this movie. Although I have already seen "Being John Malkovich" before, I will see it once again, to understand it much better and learn from it, and to put things in perspective.

Ciao for now.

Infotech - Silent Destroyer

2010-02-16T14:59:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

This post is regarding the firm Infotech Enterprises Limited and how its unethical hiring practices has pushed back the careers of many bright young engineers by atleast a few years. (Yeah Infotech, if you want to sue me for “maligning your name”, please feel free to do so)

According to my source(s), Infotech had hired many students from various campuses in Hyderabad in 2007-08, in their 7^th/8^th semesters itself. After selection, the firm got the students to submit their original certificates, thereby denying the students the chance to apply to much better firms and profiles elsewhere. For one of the college, the joining date for the students was given as mid-August. After some 8-9 months (after recruitment) they sent a mail saying that they have no projects and withdrew the offer made to a large number of students. By the time many of the students got back their certificates, recession (or slowdown – whichever way you prefer to look at it) had already hit the market.

What about those who were selected? Well, don’t think that they were spared by the firm in any way. The students who were selected in the “Software development” dept. were made to do “Data Processing”. And though they mentioned in the offer letter that the students would be paid Rs. 16k during training period, they were being paid mere Rs. 5k (literally peanuts).

This is the sad state of many of the IT firms in India, who are never able to look at their employees as “Human Resources” and only think of them as liabilities and “bottom-line” that can be dispensed with. Did these firms ever wonder the kind of impression that such firms make among future potential employees? Do they ever think how one small action such as this can malign the name of an entire industry? I know that there are a few firms (TCS I know for sure) that are very much ethical in this regard. But such actions by other firms malign the entire industry. Sad to know that such things take place even now.

I just hope firms like Infotech learn their lesson and never ever so such things to put their potential employees in a situation that could destroy their careers.

Ciao for now.

Valentine's Day revelations...

2010-02-14T01:32:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

Although a close friend told me not to mention such stuff in a public space, I will go on record with this. Today, at the stroke of midnight, just as India ushered in the V-Day on 14.02.09, I had a peg of vodka to celebrate 24 years of being single and happy.

Single and happy, eh? This is me speaking, and not the vodka I can assure you of that. How can I be happy? There was a bomb blast in Pune (10 killed and 30+ injured). "My Name Is Khan" was being boycotted in many theatres all over Maharashtra. People are still dying of hunger all over India. The T-State issue still looms (and could play spoilsport once again when I come to Hyderabad next weekend). How can one be happy still?

Today I realized one thing - me and the world have been screwing each other since time immemorial. And the agreement was always mutual - it was purely with consent. And what did I get out of this relationship? What did the world do for me? Nothing, nothing at all. What did I ask for? I didn't ask for a McKinsey job, I didn't ask for 1 crore package, I never asked for anything that I did not deserve. I just asked for an average package for my average marks. And what did it give me? You know it better. What am I doing to change that? Nothing at all, not a thing.

You know, I don't give a damn about world now. I don't care what it wants to give me. I don't want anything from it - zero expectations, null, a big egg. I will take what I get - no aims, no ambitions - just a robot in this sea of life, a zombie among the millions of humanoid zombies on the face of this planet. And strangely speaking, this makes me happy.

Ciao for now.

The missed months...

2010-02-13T02:57:00.000+05:30

Why do I blog?

This is not a question that someone asked me. It's something I ask myself all the time. And I've never really understood why I do keep blogging. I don't have the motivation for sure and I have run out of interesting stuff to blog about. May be it's just because I have nothing else to do in life. I just eat (mostly food), sleep (like a fat baby), drink (water and vodka) and blog (like a madman). In short, I am living a life that should not be lived by any sane human being :D

Anyways, after reading this post by Bharat Jhurani, I decided to have a look at the months I did not blog in my short 3 years of existence in the blogosphere. There were 3 full months when I was completely off blogging. By the way, a point to note - I started blogging the very first month Bharat missed a blog post - Coincidence :) Here are the three months I failed to blog (and the reasons):

1. January 2007: I had just started blogging (in December 2006) and was very energetic and enthusiastic. But then, after 5 posts in a span of 10 days (pretty awesome I must say for my standards), I had not received a single comment. Plus, I had received my CAT results and had to concentrate on XAT and GD/PI too. Weekends flew by pretty quick and the weekdays were spent negotiating with teachers for attendance. We did not have internet in our rooms, and the CC (Computer Centre) was quite full. Add to that Kurukshetra winters and my lazy body, and you'll have a full picture of why I did not blog at all in January 2007.

P.S. I received my first comment in February for this post, which happened to be my only post that month. As a tribute to that comment made by Adi Sir, I am going to see "Chasing Amy" (recommended by him in a later comment) on Valentine's Day this year.

2. February 2009: Two years earlier, it was GD/PI headache that made me forget blogging, and two years later, the story remained the same. Thanks to the recession, job-time was tougher and preparation was on (to finally end up in my Sarkari job). The exams and other tensions had all got to my head. Not surprisingly, it had been just a few months since the election of Obama (In 2008 I averaged almost 6 posts every month!) and perhaps I did not have any more juice left to squeeze :)

3. September 2009: This was the month I had slipped into depression (seriously). I was still stuck @ my current job, I was feeling lonely (not many times in my life have I felt completely alone) and I was growing fat. I was conscious of it, and that's what made it worse (which is contrary to what people think). Luckily, I had a good time on my birthday and the month ended well. But the fact that I blogged just once in the following month is a reflection of my continued depression.

Will I keep blogging? Only time will tell. But I just hope that these were the last 3 months,and I wish not to have any more such months. Why? Because I discovered that although not many people read my blog, those that matter to me do read it. And if not for my sake, atleast for their sake, I will keep rambling :)

Ciao.

What if you could have a peek at your future?

2010-02-12T19:33:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

“What if?” was the topic given to us in the latest Blog-a-Ton and due to paucity of time, I had to use an earlier post on a similar topic for this edition – and I am happy to say that I got good reviews for it! Check out the post here in case you wanna read it.

Now that I am relatively free, I started thinking about a recent TV series that asked the question “What if we could see the future, even if could only just a small part of it?” Does seeing the future (if possible) change things in the present? Such questions are addressed by the TV series “FlashForward”. It challenges your thoughts, philosophies and assumptions about the present and about time.

Brief Summary: October 29^th witnessed a worldwide blackout – everyone in the world blacked-out for exactly 2 min 17 seconds at the very same time. That day 8000 planes crashed all over the world and more than 20 million people died. During that black out, almost all people (barring a few), saw a vision of their future. And it changed their lives, forever. A woman saw that she was with a man other than her husband; A man saw that he was with his daughter who has been dead for more than 2 years; One woman saw that she was taking care of a child that she never saw and another girl saw herself as pregnant having a ultrasound (although she was a lesbian). A team is investigating the cause of the blackout, as new clues unfold.

Now it begs the question – Having seen the future, is there a chance that you have invariably changed it? As I see it, our future is like a function of everything that happened in the past – your next second in life is a function of the millions of seconds that you have already lived through. Now your “present” involves you seeing your own future. Will the fact that you have seen the future change it, or is it possible that the future that you have witnessed had already taken this factor into consideration? One can never be sure of that.

Now comes to the action – your action. Suppose, in one such vision, you saw that you were in Paris near the Eiffel Tower, waiting for someone to come. The question is: What will you do now? Will you let the future take its course – in which case there is a 50:50 chance of that event happening (as you will never know if what you saw was meant to happen or not) or will you do something really stupid to change that – perhaps you will lock yourself up in your room at home and things will turn out as such so as to make that future happen – then you will never know if your actions caused the event or if that event was meant to happen anyways. If an event happens in spite of you avoiding it - then it means you made your future that saw before in your past – so it could have never happened unless you interfered with your present!“The future is not what we are living for now, it’s what we living by” - a very powerful statement that defines the life of those who have seen their future.

Both I and my friend (with whom I had a chat regarding this @ 2 am) wanted to have a Flashforward, fur different reasons though. Got me thinking – will we be happy on seeing our future? Well, we cannot comment on it unless we see it.

The show is part philosophy (which you need to derive out of the various dialogues) and part thriller (which is clearly visible). Watch it, if you have the time and the patience.

Ciao.

(Most of the thoughts presented here are form a chat I had recently with a good friend)

500 Days of Summer...

2010-02-08T17:12:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

One movie from the "Romantic Comedy" genre that I happened to see in the recent days is "500 Days of Summer". It's another independent production (like Paranormal Activity) that was picked up by a major production house and went on become an acclaimed hit.

What separates this movie from the rest of the movies in this genre is that a) It is focused entirely from the guy's perspective b) It is a non-linear narrative and c) It is not a love story in any sense.

Brief Summary: Tom and Summer are office colleagues. Tom likes Summer and thinks she is the one. But Summer does not believe in love and she chose to be just friends. However, she opens up to him more than she ever did with any other man, thereby confusing Tom. He is not sure of what this relationship is all about and where it is headed. Summer does not understand why Tom is behaving like he was because she had already set the tone for the relationship as being just friends. They break up, and he finds out that she is getting married to another man, whom she happened to meet in a coffee shop. He later decides to move on with his life, and manages to get past Summer towards Autumn.

What made this movie enjoyable is that it shows Tom in a situation most guys would relate themselves with (me not being one of them), and would make guys realize what actually goes wrong in such cases. Tom was blinded by love, and he did not know that, rather he kept ignoring that. Summer liked Tom, but could not handle that suffocation. If they make a movie called "500 Days of Tom", I am sure things could be put in a much better perspective.

Anyways, I recommend this movie and give it a rating of 8.5/10 for it's fresh perspective towards love and romance. See it if you want to see a well-paced comedy, with a dose of comedy sprinkled over it. Don't expect it to enlighten you, just enjoy the show! It is not Oscar material for sure, but it certainly deserves to be in the top-250 list in IMDB.

Ciao for now.

What if...

2010-02-06T18:03:00.000+05:30

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 7; the seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Usually, it’s always the male half of the human species which has to do all the chasing and flirting and “first-moving”. Just, for once, let’s speculate a parallel universe, where the situation is exactly the opposite. Let us consider the life of a MBA student in such a world.

The guy wakes up early in the morning and dutifully brushes his teeth using the new toothpaste that was dutifully advertised to him in the newspaper.Then he gets ready for his classes and reaches his classes on time and ready to listen to his teacher and dutifully take down all the notes for his “ladki” (read as LADY) friend, who just gazes at him admiring his clean-shaven face. But hey, this boy is not an ordinary “bali ka bakra” here, he demands more. So the poor girl has to make sure that she keeps him well fed with a regular dose of chocolates, pastries, porn and what not :D

After class, as they are taking a long walk in the campus, the guy suddenly sees a black cat cross his path. He is instantly frightened and catches hold of the girl’s hand and begs her to take him ASAP to the mandir, because he has to do darshan immediately to avoid the spell that the cat had cast on both of them. The girl reluctantly takes him to the mandir. There she prays for the same thing as always – “Hey bhagwaan, is weekend pe is naalayak ke haaton mera purse khaali mat karwana”.

At night, the girl insists that the guy stay over, but the guy gives the usual excuses of "I have to work hard for my exams, I suggets you do the same" or some Bollywood-ish excuses like "Log Kya Sochenge". In the end, the guy wins and the dejected girl goees back to her hostel, thinking whether this is all worth it.

In the weekend, they go shopping as the guy insists. The fella buys all kinds of stuff for himself, like a new pair of Reeboks (Hey, guys will remain guys no matter what the universe may be like!) and Levi's. The poor girl worries on how she will pay for all this stuff.

Suddenly she sees a stall for something new – A new credit card by a leading bank, in association with Nike! Why the hell has that bank come up with such an crazy combo, she wonders. But then she remembers – her boyfriend is absolutely crazy about Nike. The card is too good to be true! Interest-free for one whole year! She applies for one card immediately and is given the card in 30 min flat (It’s a fast world!). When the dreaded time for the bill payment came, she proudly flashed her Nike-branded credit-card and the guy went absolutely nuts about her! Then they shopped happily (or heavily, whichever way you look at it) ever after!

When you think of this very hypothetical situation, some of you may think "Impossible, Blasphemy, This is Madness!!". But when I think about it, all that comes in my mind is the question "What if this were true?" Who knows, in a land far far away, perhaps the guys have all the fun :)

(adapted from an earlier post on a similar topic)

Ciao.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Religion, Reason and Choice (Part 2)

2010-02-04T17:08:00.000+05:30

(contd. from an earlier post)

Part 1 of this post can be found at this link (click here)

6. Question: Did you ever come across persons who argue shit about a point and wonder WTF are you trying to reason out. You can’t beat shit with shit. Shit is shit. If you try to, you have shit all over yourself. What you usually do when you know the other person is full of shit?

My answer was diplomatic. I would just see how that person is useful to me – if he/she is useful to me in some way I retain the friendship, else I don’t talk to him/her again. Suppose this happens @ my workplace, then I try to avoid the person as much as possible, and if that is not possible, I just tell it on their face (trust me, I did it before and am not afraid to do it again).

7. Memories: Talking about software life, we came to an interesting conclusion that in life, there is no such thing as good or bad, it’s only memories. Whatever happens is just a mere recording – It’s just stuff that happens to you. You are just an actor running through a very long play.

8. The “feel good” factor: Suddenly we jumped to the point about helping others. Do you think helping someone makes you feel good? I felt that I do it because of vested interests, mostly knowing that I will have help when I need it and that’s how I feel good. It is not completely selfish - I it’s like life is just about give and take. When you give you expect that you get it back in some other form from someone else – it is an underlying feeling. It doesn’t come with a motive – it’s natural. Then Raman made the statement of the day – “I wonder how helping someone is any different from say having a beer or a GF or sex or wife. It's all the same - it is about feeling good” – Perfect statement indeed when you come to think about it J If you look at them as mere events of life, they aren’t different. But if you classify these events into various other sub events as to why you are doing them, then they are very different. It’s not just how they feel to you; it’s also why you feels how you feel. And the “why” can be found in the various virtues that are beaten into us from childhood – “Do good and good will be done to you. Think about religion as a mobilizing and a uniting force, like a large brotherhood, to ingrain these virtues into you.

9. Me first: There is a threshold too, the precipice for action for those within the curve. The point of beliefs is to avoid the emotional black hole that one can get sucked. It is important for the concept of “live and let live”, but at the same time it is vulnerable to the people ahead of the curve. The people ahead of the curve know that they may be ahead, but the masses have the numbers and hence the manipulation takes place – it’s more like saving one’s own arse. The three classes of people ahead of the curve is also important and the elite are in the 2 class.

10. Life in Software: Things fuck up when in recession with the pathetic extra hours, odd timings etc. The same mundane life, which gives you the feeling that the quality of life has improved where in actuality it has fucked you in ways unimaginable. I have not yet worked in a software firm, but I can sure understand this even related to my own job.

We agreed that no one likes or understands this crap - it only grows with age perhaps. There was never an ocean of information that we have now. Perhaps, atleast our generation, may change things for the better through this understanding and discuss more serious issues in life.

Ciao for now.

Religion, Reason and Choice (Part 1)

2010-02-04T16:56:00.001+05:30

Hi friends

What started as a small, insignificant act from my side turned put to be a highly interesting chat on January 1^st this year, with Raman SP (formerly known as “Raman The Great”, now known by “Raman The Invincible”), former enemy (I literally hated competing with him at school) and now a good friend J We had a very interesting chat on religion (and other stuff), and all that triggered it was a small verse from the Bible.

I had seen “Revelation 21:5” in someone’s Gtalk Status message, which read “He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (New International Version, 1984). And Mr. Raman was intrigued by this message.

I’ll try not to mention what each of us specifically said, but will surely give a gist of the insights from our conversation. I will mention it in a points-format so as to make it easier to read and follow (I will post it in two separate posts for easier reading)

1. What is religion? Religion, as we perceived, is a gimmick to keep the masses under control (something like a Government). Life, as we know it, is always about having the upper hand, about control. It is very similar to “Survival of the Fittest”, just that control is the parameter that determines power here.

2. Choice: When you look at Europe throughout the Medieval ages, you see so many churches and crusades and see how, in the name of religion, people have always tried to influence others views and force other people to look through their eyes. Where is the choice to seek and decide for yourself what you see fit as being good? As Raman puts it, “I guess peace is never without a sense of irony” J In life not everyone can be ahead of the curve, (which sounds very Darwinian), but the reason is because the curve was derived out the people aptitudes in the first place. There is an inherent discrimination to it.

3. What makes you act or react? We got the answer as “Faith”. According to Raman, “Only faith can prompt action. If you can see two sides of a coin, you can never act as it is very difficult to decide”. And I completely agreed with this assessment, because I have seen it happen to me. The reason why I am not able to act most of the times is because I tend to see both sides of the story – I may take a stand (purely for academic reasons), but I am never able to act on that. I cannot take a strong stand because I know the pros and cons of both.

4. Why reason? Even when you want to act, the most difficult thing is to get people to understand your viewpoint. That in itself comes with a sense of irony, because the more you try to reason the weaker will your stand become in effective delivery. The masses like statements not reason. The masses of the present look for reason for faith and are easily manipulated by smooth speakers who twist what is supposed to be good and virtuous into their agenda (Remember any recent examples, like November ’09?)

5. Ahead of the curve: Being ahead of the curve can lead to one of two things - Either you know everything and do nothing (like you and me in general) or you know everything and manipulate what you know for more power and control (like our modern-day leaders).

Part 2 of this post can be found at this link (click here)

Blast from the past...

2010-02-03T10:04:00.000+05:30

This post is another one from my personal diary that I maintain in the form of a blog (and is only accessible to me). I have decided not to modify this post much, as I am sure no children read my blog anyways :)

Miami 1999 was one place I can never forget in my lifetime. It was the summer of 1999, and I can assure you that
it was very different from the one mentioned in Bryan Adams' song

It was my second visit to the USA, and I was a bit more of a man then I was in 1998 (Meaning: I was fatter and more bulky). This time my uncle decided to show us the beaches of Miami too (We had seen Disneyland on my first visit too). I was enamoured by the sights and sounds of Miami - the place seemed to be the closest I could come to heaven in my lifetime! The hotel where we stayed was a top-notch 5 star hotel and even till today (03.02.2010), it is the costliest hotel that I have ever stayed at.

Coming to the point - there was some show taking place after dinner, a show that was supposed to cater mostly to adults (but no one really bothered about that part). I did not want to sit there with my parents seeing some more-than-half-naked belly dancers give a fantastic performance (I would, had I not been sitting with my mom and dad). So,
feigning a headache, I took my
uncle's permission and went back to the hotel room and started watching TV, hoping to get lucky (i.e. get a glimpse of some show that we could not see in front of parents).

I understood one thing at that tender age - in the USA, everyone tends to get lucky at sometime or the other! I bumped into a TV show that was clearly erotic by any standards. Since I was just a kid then (14 - still a kid by "Indian Parental Standards of 1999"), I did not know what to make out of it, but I had a fair knowledge of what I was seeing and hearing. It was my first exposure to the so-called "open society" that USA is. Well, I never remembered what show I saw, nor did I remember the characters. However, I did remember the scenes that took place and and they were in my memory even 10 years later.

Very recently, I was watching "Sex and the City", because it so happens that I hated the very title of the show, and hence wanted to see if my hate is justified (I don't like to discriminate without any purpose). Surprisingly, I loved the show and its storyline right from S1E1. Then one day, I was watching S1E3 titled "Bay of Married Pigs". While the show was going on, I suddenly recalled - "Hey! This was the very episode on TV that day!" I could even remember the dialogues of the show! It felt nice that I could finally put some faces and voices to what was one of my first ever "experiences" on TV. I remembered Samantha's face, but I couldn't recall the face of the woman she called to talk about her "experiences" (It was Carrie). I later discovered that this episode was almost a year old (must be a re-run or something like that) when I had seen it on TV that fateful day in 1999.

Anyways, just wanted you'll to know about something that was like a blast from the past for me!

This was a very weird experience for me, as I always maintained (as a thumb rule) not to divulge certain stuff on my blog. But this was just another small event in my life, as as I come to think of them, I realize that I am much more mature than what I was when I first wrote this post on 27.08.2009 (which is barely 5 months ago), and hence am able to post it in this blog. Can 5 months really change that much? I can say with certainty that 5 months is a very long period in the life of a modern-day human being.

Independence Day, 2009 - The real freedom...

2010-02-02T11:03:00.000+05:30

This post is actually from my personal diary that I maintain in the form of a blog (and is only accessible to me). I have modified this post a bit in order to cater to the sensitivities of my readers.

I had a very fun-filled weekend for Independence Day in 2009. Since August 14th also was a holiday (festival of Janmashtami), it was a 3 day weekend. I had invited my college friend Jango to come over from Baroda and spend some time in Delhi, away from the dry state of Gujarat (It is dry, since alcohol is banned there).

Anyways, it was a good one, because Ujjal a.k.a. Anda, was also here in Delhi. It was not by chance though. I called Jango to come up and meet me and Ujjal because Ujjal had left his job and was about to go back home to Assam to prepare for GATE. I knew that this was perhaps the only time I could see Ujjal and Jango together, so I made sure that we three had a whale of a time. We went to a movie together (Kaminey, starring Shahid Kapoor), which was perhaps the first we three have seen together in a theatre. When I realized that, it was a strange feeling for me. After all, we were really close friends since our engineering days, and we had never even saw a movie together in the theatre!

Our friendship is sort of different from most of the others..We know that we can understand each other really well but also know that inspite of having nothing in common, we still have something in common that we do not know about. It's strange, but I will give one example that illustrates this point. Consider the series "The Big Bang Theory". It is perhaps one of the few TV series that I have dedicated a blogpost to (even one of my all-time favorites "LOST" does not have its own post). I loved the series so much that I was in awe of the characterization and Penny :) If you know Anda well enough, you would think "He would never like that show". Well, Anda liked it so much, that he even recommended it to Jango. Knowing Jango, one would never imagine that he, of all people, would actually like that show! But he did, and that too very much! Well, this is not the only example, but it just shows that you may think you know someone, but you never do know him/her well enough.

Well, about that last statement of mine - on Sunday, we met Sushanth Gaurav, whom I call "the one-man placement guy". He left his job too, but for another job with more responsibilities. He met us at the Madras Cafe and it was nice seeing all of us back together. It was sort of a mini NIT KKR meeting for all of us. Anyways, we had some beer in the night and both Ujjal and Sushant agreed to stay over that night. Lucky for me, my roommate was at home in Bikaner and I was comfortable enough on the sofa.

When we were relaxing with the bottle of beer in our hands, our conversation with Sushant was getting warmer. Since he was one of the few fellas in our college who has access to all the information, we got to know of so many things regarding our college and its students, especially those from our own batch.

This conversation started right from the time we were in Madras Cafe and proceeded to KFC, and McDonalds and then to my place. We chatted about everything under the sun in NIT Kurukshetra. Then the night heated up, as Sushanth told us about the many different dirty secrets that we never knew of - about the presence of homosexuality in out college (which I frankly found quite disturbing) and the various sexcapades (both straight and not so straight) of our final-year batch-mates with guys and girls from all batches. Not many names were revealed to us, but there were quite a few things that we found out and had time to think over.

One of them that we seriously reflected on was our naivety in college. We were a bunch of guys who just came over to Engineering from Assam, Bihar and Andhra Pradesh - and all that we knew was what our parents told us "Beta, study hard and get a good job, and your life is settled". But there were the big fish - those that knew exactly what to do. And not surprisingly, most of them were from Haryana, the local region. Studying at a college in a area that you belong to has its own advantages - you can always get things done the way you want them to be done. We realized that while we were studying (somewhat hard), people were meeting and networking with teachers to get into their good books; while we idled our time drinking chai and having samosas at the khokha, they spent it on booze and girls. We were really very naive about the things we needed to get a good job and on how life really is.

But nature always devises a way to separate men from the boys. We were self-reliant and knew to tread our own paths. We had our heads on our shoulders and not up in the clouds. And collectively, we have achieved, in our lives, far more than the other "pushed" fellas. We know what to do and how to enjoy life on our own terms. And when we thought about it - we realized that we were more successful in life than they are, because we have a sense of purpose in our lives!

Just think about it taking me as an example- there were so many guys in my college, who went though hell to study for CAT (I have seen people slog it out for months over CAT while I, who always talked about CAT, merely attended a crash course of 40 days duration), and there was me, the over-confident, egotistic, self-centered brat, who had more mood swings before CAT than the number of times Britney must have thought of getting married in a month! Still, I got the 2nd best percentile of all the students in the college, and was in the top 200 students who gave what is supposedly "the toughest exam in the world". It was my destiny, and it happened.

I am happy to have realized that I went through college with a fair degree of honesty (I have had my share of wrongdoings) and got what I deserved, if not more. If God is really out there, I thank him for giving me what I need, nothing more and nothing less.

Sounds very different from what people generally perceive me to talk about and speak like? Well, this is the real me, and welcome to my world.

Ciao.

2009 - the best of times, the worst of times...

2010-01-28T22:47:00.002+05:30

Hi friends

While coming home today, I happened to reflect upon my last 1 year and on what made my life different in 2009. Of course, recession and other negatives spoiled the year, but I was thinking of the positives that happened to me (I was in a sleepy mood, so most of the reflections were dreamy, hence positive)

The first positive was my losing weight at home – yes, you heard it right – I LOST 10 KILOS AT HOME!!! But then around 4 kilos of that weight came back, thanks to Delhi L But still, that’s a net loss of 6 kilos, and I am hanging onto that thin thread of hope.

The 2^nd positive has been my independent life, having a 9-to-5, 5-day-a-week job (Yes Samatha, I am proud of my work after all!) that pays me less, but also gives me less work too J It’s always nice to see my bank balance (even though it is never up to my high expectations) and remind myself that I do not have to depend on dad for money at all J

The 3^rd positive has been my roommates here in Delhi. Naveen (Swami ki Jai Ho!), Abhishek Bansiwal (compulsive shopper) and Arun Khera (compulsive bewda) have become my best friends here in Delhi. We share the same attitude towards life and appreciate the fact that we can adjust to each other without any hassles – not a single fight in the last 5 months we have been together!

Another main positive that I saw from 2009 is making new friends and strengthening old friendships. And most of them happened online (not something I am proud of, nevertheless). Being a geek (in the untraditional sense of the word), I had grown addicted to Facebook and Orkut, and the latest addiction being Twitter. 497 friends on Orkut, 504 friends on Facebook and 268 followers on Twitter (as on 28.01.2010) – it may not look like much, but it is a lot for a bloke like me who keeps all friends very close. Try keeping up with each and every person’s moves – and you will know how my life has been in 2009 J

Some main friends with whom my ties were strengthened – Febin, Samatha, Chandu and Jango – my regular chat buddies. Man life would have been a hell outside hel(L) in 2009 without these 4 folks. Febin and I talk a lot on the softer aspects of life and it brightens up my day every time (no further details). Samatha is always very patient enough to listen to my ramblings about my parents and all and answer my queries about many things w.r.t. the opposite sex. Chandu is one helluva guy, from whom I learn something new every time we chat – it’s almost like a competition (from my side) on who can tell the other person newer things. He is the only other guy who shares my passion in the Paranormal and Extraterrestrial activities. Jango – he has become more of a brother than a friend this last 1 year. We talk a lot (almost every two days) about everything to this planet – Steve Jobs, Movies and more movies! Infact, this March, I will be going to Baroda to celebrate his birthday and I’m going to get sloshed! (So in case any of you gets a call from me, make sure you hear me patiently – may be the only chance you can hear this genius fully drunk!)

Also I renewed ties with many school friends through Facebook and Orkut. I am always amazed how many of them remember me and other details of my school life so clearly, while I never recall anything at all! It makes me sad that the best days of my life have been wiped out of my memory, not by choice though. But they always remind me of such incidents, and I feel happy just to know that such things happened at school.

I cannot tell you what the biggest positive thing has been, as that may cause some controversy from some quarters. But I can surely tell you in retrospect – 2009 was not as bad as it seemed to be. Bye Bye 2009. hope 2010 is much more fun than you were.

Ciao.

Monda Market...

2010-01-28T20:41:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

Being the off-line recluse that I am, I never miss any opportunity to get human interaction, especially if they are all strangers. I believe that when you look at a stranger, it becomes easier to make first-impressions and also understand the process through which one actually gets that impression, like the facial features, the voice, the built etc. However, the only drawback with stranger is that you very rarely get to know if your impression is right or wrong.

I consider market places to be the best way to witness human behaviour in its most basic commercial form - trade! You want something, and you have something in return - how much value you put on the goods you want forms the basis of this interaction. A very simple process indeed.

Monda Market is a famous market in Secunderabad. You can get almost anything here - anything! On the internet, it has been mentioned that it happens to be the biggest wholesale vegetable market of Secunderabad and that you can get the price at least 30% less than in any market in twin cities (Hyderabad and Secunderabad). Last year, there were supposedly a rumour regarding the shifting of the market and the area being converted into a mall, all of which were dismissed by a local MLA, who said that plans are under way to transform the market into a modern market by providing basic amenities to traders and shoppers. One year down the line, I can say that "Plans are and will always remain plans" :)

Anyways, my interaction with this market goes way back to the time we moved to Hyderabad. Me and my dad used to frequent this place. Whenever I go home, I make it a point to visit this market atleast once :) The crowd is awesome, especially during the peak period (Saturday afternoon by my observation)where things move at a fast pace. The crowd is lively, and so are the shopkeepers. It's always interesting to see how bargaining takes place, and how the shopkeeper responds to two different customers in the same situation!!!

While my dad shops, I usually take the time to observe the various bargaining interactions, and truly speaking, I am inspired! It's an awesome place for any aspiring marketer to learn how the ground-level works,how things move when you are interacting directly with the customer. Quick decision-making instinct the key to survival here, and the shopkeepers are very good at that :)

Anyways, these are some snaps I managed to take from my last trip to the Monda Market (in the last week of December) at around 0830 hrs on a Saturday.

The empty road inside the market, getting ready for the busy day ahead

A man sorting out his beans :D

More vegetables - this is a kid's nightmare!

Forget this bloke, just look at the sacks of vegetables behind him :)

I think they are curry leaves, right? Neatly stacked up for the day...

Almost everyone sells everything in this section of the market - and yet no price wars, just clever bargaining!!

Ciao for now. Hope you liked this post.

BS Awards for “Best Cars” announced, Nano wins in 6 categories...

2010-01-04T21:07:00.003+05:30

Another one, which is similar to some usual articles on FakingNews and hence was not published...

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Mumbai, India. At a glittering celebration at the “The Taj Mahal Palace & Tower” in Mumbai, the famous weekly magazine Bizcrap Standardized (also known as BS) gave away the most awaited awards of the auto-industry, “The Goodies”. And it was no surprise that the car that stole the limelight was none other than the famed “Tata Nano”, winning 6 of the 10 possible awards.

“I am honoured by this. This is another feather in the cap of Nano and the entire Tata Group ever since we conceptualized Nano” said Ratan Tata, with a beaming smile. On being asked by our Special News Correspondent Raja Badbola if he was surprised that the Nano won just six awards, he replied “Well, we were expecting to win atleast 4 awards, so I guess we were rewarded in excess! Our Yagna must have pleased the Gods!”

The Nano was nominated in 8 categories, and won in six of them, including: “Most-hyped newcomer”, “Car with most Traffic Jam Potential”, “Most Scientific-sounding Name”, and a newly added category “Most successful car launched without proper market study”.

Meanwhile, Maruti 800 managed to win the “Most recommended car for new drivers” award for a record 9^th time in a row since the awards began in 2001. “We are very pleased with the continued persistence of the driving agencies to teach all new drivers in a Maruti 800. We hope they continue to do so for a long time to come”, said Mr. Mayank Pareek, Maruti Suzuki Executive Officer (Marketing and Sales).

Toyota Prado managed to win the “Get Peanuts by paying Filthy More” award. There was a close competition from the newly launched “Volkswagen Beetle” in this category. “We knew we’re over-priced, so this should’ve been a cakewalk for us. It was a close call, but we scraped through without a scratch!” said a thrilled Mr. Hiroshi Nagakawa, MD of Toyota Kirloskar Motors (TKM). There was some solace for the Beetle, as it managed to win Beetle won the “Most Bugging Car” award. “We are disappointed at not being able to win in two more categories, but this award was expected”, Mr. Neeraj Garg, VW India Sales Director told our Special News Correspondent with a gloomy face.

Fiat Punto managed to grab the “Car with best Indian-sounding non-Indian name” award. “We felt that the Italian name was catchier in India. Punto sounds like a nickname, like ‘Chintu’ or ‘Bunty’, and that’s how we want the customers to bond with their cars”, commented Mr. Rajeev Kapoor, Fiat India Automobiles president and CEO.

Meanwhile, Bajaj Auto chairman Mr. Rahul Bajaj called these awards “a total waste of time” and said that “the awards merely state the obvious.” On the possibility of Bajaj entering the four-wheeler segment, he commented “We are not into cars right now. May be in the future, we can upgrade the three-wheelers. We can add a fourth wheel to it and make something like a carry van, but it will certainly not be a car, as we don’t want to compete for these awards.”

Ratan Tata, in his classic “visionary” position. He plans to make a ULC (Ultra Low Car) by 2012

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References:

Business Standard Motoring Awards 2010

Rahul Bajaj says no 'hamara Nano' for now

Hitler shocked at so few Indian parodies of himself :D

2009-12-31T17:36:00.000+05:30

Hi friends

One day, while browsing aimlessly and seeing various Hitler parodies (based on a particular clip from the German movie titled “The Downfall”), I realized that I did not see any parody that related to India. Not a single one! This led me to think – what if Hitler found out about this? What would his reaction be? And out came this small piece, which luckily got published in Faking News (click link for the article). Lucky for me, Pagal Patrakar modified the article a bit. He told me that a few videos related to India were submitted to him and he had out them up on Youtube, and they could have escaped my eye.

For the benefit of the viewers, I am reproducing the article here. Enjoy!

_________________________________________________________________

Tripoli, Libya. After seeing so many parodies of himself on YouTube from his movie “The Downfall” (German: Der Untergang), the in-hiding German dictator, Adolf Hitler, has finally confessed that he is still not satisfied with the quality of videos that have been put up. He expressed deep regret that there have been very few Indian parodies made of him yet.

“I have been following all the parodies, right from the first one that appeared on YouTube in 2006, in which I was banned from playing Microsoft’s Xbox Live games console (chuckles). It was hilarious! There have been many parodies after that, but the underlying theme is still the same – American. This is not what I expected. As a nation with so many IT Professionals, I expected a lot of Indian-related parodies about me. But I have come across just a few, with a couple of them being on Faking News”, said Hitler, when contacted at his residence in Libya.

“I mean, you guys are called humorous, and claim to be so in many top-10 lists. The India TV videos by that Sumit guy on Faking News were hilarious, but are those all you have to offer? Where are the parodies on me reacting to L K Advani’s loss in Indian elections, India’s Champions Trophy exit, the Mumbai Attacks, the long trial of Ajmal Kasab and even to some Bollywood movies like “Blue”? I have searched for it on Google for quite some time, but I have not seen any yet”, Hitler told our Special News Correspondent Raja Badbola.

When contacted about this sensational Hitler reaction, the President of the AHP (Aamchi Hitler Parody) Group Mr. Fani Fashist supported his views. “We have an online petition signed by more than 2000 IT Professionals demanding that Hitler should have more Indian parody videos. If they have the time to sign the petition, they surely have the time to make a parody video. After all, yeh desh ki izzat ka sawaal hai”, said Mr. Fashist when contacted on phone.

Hitler’s comments have led to mixed reactions from the public. In an SMS poll conducted by ABS (Always Bull Shit) News to the question “Should we have more Indian parody clips of the famous scene from ‘Downfall’?” 25% said “YES, 20% said “NO”, and 55% said “Which Parody are you talking about?” clearly underlining the low popularity base for YouTube in India. News anchors are fervently demanding Infosys and TCS to set up new divisions to churn out atleast 20 such videos per day.

When asked by Faking News whether he would consider making a Hitler Parody clip, Senior VP of RSS (Rashtriya Software Services) told our correspondents, “We are in contact with the Board of Directors and a decision would be reached soon on setting up a new division. If TCS and Infosys can do it, so can we. We have an equal number of people on the bench at the RSS and I am sure a new division would be able to accommodate them. This is the need of the hour and I hope the Government appreciates our efforts to generate more employment in the IT sector.”

But many other Indians have strongly condemned these statements by Hitler. The spokesperson of REHAB (Rescue of Erstwhile Hitler-Abused Bodies) Mr. Jewy Swing was very critical of these statements and told or correspondents that “This is a plot by Hitler to spread his fascist agenda all over again. In America, it inspired Bush to wage wars all over the world. Now he is targeting the 2^nd most populated country in the world. Our youth are easily influenced by such videos. It will start as “parody”, and the next thing you know, he will be spreading his fascist word, and asking them to make fun of their own politicians. He wants to spread anarchy, I warn you that.”

Hitler in his bathtub at Shah Palace, Tripoli, doing his trademark salute

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What do you think? Leave a comment (here, or at the original site) and let me know.

Happy New Year 2010. Happy New Decade!

Ciao!

Tagged...

2009-12-30T22:58:00.004+05:30

Hi friends

Just a childish game. Nevertheless, just play along (all those who have been tagged play along – it’s completely voluntary though)

P.S. As Iam not fully comfortable with it, I will be breaking Rule 2 and explaining my answers where needed. God help me! Here it goes.

__________________________________________________________________________

Tagged by Sivarchana

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty (means YES) or Innocent (means NO)

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this.

Let me begin…

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.

Ever told a lie? Guilty (may times)

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty (Don’t ask me for the explanation)

Kissed a picture? Guilty (Kissed a picture of Catherine Zeta Jones once, just to have a feel of how much I should envy Michael Douglas for being able to that whenever he wants to)

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty (I once slept from 18 hours straight)

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty (There is a Video on Youtube to prove this)

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.

Stolen from a store? Guilty (Well, not exactly a store, but a library. It was a Reader’s Digest magazine, having an amazing article on Renée Zellweger. The library was closing, so I had no choice. The magazine was small, so I somehow managed to sneak it outside, as we were not allowed to rent magazines)

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty (The “doing” is more like “not doing” here, it qualifies)

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty (Plenty of times)

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent (Never seen snow or snowflakes in my life)

Kissed in the rain? Innocent (No Kiss, no pain)

Sat on a roof top? Guilty (What question is that?)

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent.

Sang in the shower? Guilty (I used to, but not any more)

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent (I jumped into a pool-like body, but was never pushed into it)

Shaved your head? Guilty.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a girlfriend cry? Innocent (No girlfriends, no crying, no hassles)

Been in a band? Innocent.

Shot a gun? Innocent (Not even a toy gun!)

Donated Blood? Guilty (It was for a relative of a teacher from IIM Lucknow. I gave blood, along with another student. Later on, just before convocation, I, along with my parents, bumped into him accidently at college. He told my parents that I was sincere and good student (inspite of me getting a C+ in his course and also once nearly-humiliating him in class) - I guess he remembered my blood-donation. That’s the only time I remember having donated blood to anyone - may be I did it while in school, but not sure)

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? Innocent.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty (Please follow the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy in these matters)

Have/had a tattoo? Guilty (Not a real one, but one of those stick-on ones that we used to get with chewing gums)

Liked someone, but will never tell who? (As I said before, please follow the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy in these matters)

Been too honest? Guilty (Chandu will vouch for that, and am sure will not reveal what I’ve been too honest about)

Ruined a surprise? Innocent (Almost wanted to once, but somehow restricted myself)

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Innocent.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent.

Joined a pageant? Innocent.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Innocent.

Had communication with your ex? Innocent.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty (The first time I got drunk was before my last practical examination at NIT Kurukshetra, and I got totally drunk, didn’t sleep whole night. Went to the practical shaking, and everyone knew I was drunk. Somehow the teacher didn’t detect it. Phew!)

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Innocent.

That's it. End of this mini-version of “Sach ka Saamna”

Now the most interesting (or extremely childish) part of this tagging concept - Here are the people I'm tagging :) (=It’s purely voluntary from my side; you are free not to answer any of these questions and I will not mind at all.

Jango a.k.a. Vidyasagar

Chandu Venu

Tavish Chaddha

Chintan Vinod Shinde (When you are free and willing)

Abhishek Chaturvedi

Bharat Jhurani

Ciao!

Cricket is never going to be the same again...

2009-12-24T22:38:00.006+05:30

Hi friends

This statement is perhaps one of the most repeated statements of the top-commentators of cricket after they have seen something that they have never seen before. I can tell you that at sometime or the other, someone must have seen the following events happen and felt a reaction as mentioned.

1) Greg Chappell asking his brother to bowl underarm to the New Zealand batsman to prevent a six from being hit, in the 1991 tri-series finals. People must have felt – “This shows the level to which players can actually fall too, in order to win”

2) Kapil Dev's amazing knock against Zimbabwe in the 1983 World cup, an amazing 175 runs of a mere 183 balls. Those who saw this knock must have thought - “Never think that the game is over until it is over, never”

3) Pakistan's win in the 1992World cup, making it the second Asian Team to win the World Cup. “After India, now Pakistan. The Asians are surely taking the world by storm in Cricket” would have been the reaction.

4) The outburst at Eden Gardens during the India-SL semi-finals at the 1996 World Cup. “The crowd, especially from the sub-continent, is going to play a major role in shaping world cricket and shifting the balance of powers”, someone must have commented.

5) Sri Lanka winning the 1996 World Cup, and introducing the ploy of attacking during the first 15 overs of the game. “Wow! With batsmen like Jayasuriya opening the innings, the new bowl bowlers will face a new challenge” an expert must have thought.

6) India defeating Australia at the Kolkata test in 2001 thanks to Harbhajan’s and Laxman’s efforts. “Even the giants can be slayed mercilessly by Tigers in their own backyard. Australia is not invincible, no more” someone must have rejoiced.

7) England defeating Australia in the 2005 Ashes series, following some great English efforts. “No team can dominate the sport for long.” This defeat started the slow, but painful slide for the Australian team in all forms of cricket.

May be there are many more such events in Cricketing history that could have warranted a comment as such as this: “Cricket is never going to be the same again”. I have been following the sport on-and-off, so I do not have much idea.

But then the last ODI (4^th ODI between India and Sri Lanka at Kolkata in 2009) was something that made my head turn and notice. I noticed a stark change in the attitudes of the players while chasing what was once considered a once-huge score, of 316. The ease with which the runs were scored, the confidence of Gambhir and Kohli to take up the responsibility and make sure India wins the match, the way in which the bowlers were content in giving “just 6 runs per over” – all these signaled to me the very same words, that the sport is changing and changing fast. 300 is the new 200. 400 is the new 300. And it has been just 7-8 years in the making.

Truly, Cricket is never going to be the same again... At least, not for me…

Pyramid Schemes...

2009-12-22T22:30:00.001+05:30

A good friend of mine from the USA recently asked me on Facebook about Amway and other Pyramid Schemes and if it was ok to get involved with that. He asked me what I felt about this ‘get rich scheme’. I gave an honest reply, which was also somewhat sensible. Here is my modified reply:

As far as Pyramid Schemes go, they are fake. The main funda in a Pyramid Scheme is simple: If you wanna get in, get in at the top, as early as you can. Then only will you become very rich, because it is a self-sustaining cause - the more you get people under you, the more you get rich, but those above you get richer even more.

I guess Amway schemes are different - you get paid for what you sell and what the people under you sell (if what I heard about Amway so far is true). So if you don't make the sale, you don't make the money. But it's something that is not looked as a positive thing in most people’s eyes. In the initial days it will surely consume a lot of your time, you will have to invest time (and some initial money also) to succeed. But it's upto you as a person if you think you can make the sales, as people usually do not like to be approached for sales that easily.

Besides, it's a slowdown in the USA (and is expected to last for more than 2 years), so products will not sell, unless they are absolutely necessary and inexpensive. The majority of Amway's sales (60%) today come from the Health & Beauty sector, which is something that people do not count on wasting money on in such times.

I was involved in a Pyramid Scheme in college (Engg. days) and I found out later that it was pure Pyramid Scheme. One guy in my college who made a whole lot of money in that scheme after 2 full-years into it. He used to roam all around making speeches and spoke well and attracted people to the scheme a lot.

So my verdict - Don't go for it unless "you really want the money" (which will take a long time to come into your hands) and unless you have the time to invest in it.

Ciao for now.

My Lucky Day (Part 2)

2009-12-22T13:40:00.003+05:30

For Part-1 of this mini-reality show, click here.

Location: 10^th Floor Corridor, Office Building

2.55 pm: Varun was prancing frantically outside the Board-room, taking solace in the fact that he atleast believed that there is a “upar-wala” above all “upar-walas”, who knows things just the way they are. The security-guard keeps bugging him about his salary (which was too less by any MBA standards) and tells Varun that his own daughter has joined MBA in some Delhi college. Varun listened to his lips move, but the only thing running in his mind was “Bhagwan mujhe bachao”.

3.05 pm: Still no sign of anyone? Is there a meeting today? Varun was frantic, but the guard assured him that there was a meeting. Finally Varun sees Mr. Kishore entering the Board Room and follows him dutifully, and sits in a obscure corner of the room from where he could see everyone. “Ah, the best seat of the house, no one can see me and I can see all, Feel like GOD”, Varun pondered.

Location: 10^th Floor Board Room, Office Building

3.20 pm: All GMs and CGMs are finally present. One of them Mr. Mehta, sits very close to Varun. He knew Varun from the day they met during induction and was quite impressed by the way he spoke and his future plans of building a quality-school for underprivileged kids etc. Luckily for Varun, Mr. Mehta, doesn’t notice his presence. “Izzat bach gayi”, Varun was relieved.

3.25 pm: The CMD finally arrives. As soon as he enters the room, everyone stand in unison, and at this point of time, Mr. Mehta notices Varun, and vice-versa. When they sit down, he gestures to Varun and using simple signs (like sign-language, only clearer) and they have the following conversation, in silence, while the presentation went on.

Mehta: What is with the beard and the sandals? Sadhu-sant ban gaye kya?

Varun: Sir, I woke up late, and was not aware of the meeting today, hence.

Mehta: Arey why is Ashwath making the presentation? You should be the one making it, as you are better at presentations than he is…

Varun: Sir, this is his project, not mine. Besides, I am content making notes and writing the minutes.

3.58 pm: Presentation ends – Yipee! But the questioning starts. Vaurn endures the boring questions asked, and some powerful answers given by his CMD. “Damn, he is a powerful speaker indeed. Never realized it takes so much guts to answer questions asked by your juniors”, Varun realizes. Meanwhile he notices Mr. Mehta sleeping, as he did throughout much of the presentation and thinks “Awesome chap he sure is. Bright as hell!”

4.15 pm: Q&A session still on. Varun’s phone buzzes a call from Abhishek and Ashutosh – Damn, he was supposed to go out for some patties with them at that time. Damn his meeting. Damn. Varun sends a sms regarding his unavailability for the noble cause of filling one’s stomach. But he feels very hungry, sigh.

4.45 pm: Finally the meeting ends! Varun waits till everyone exists the room and talks to Kishore Sir. “Sir, I am really sorry for my attire today.I was late and in a hurry, so…”. “Arey, it’s ok. Just be ready next time onwards”, smiled Mr. Kishore. “Damn, this must be the best boss ever!” Varun tells himself.

Location: Chai shop, beside the Office Building

4.55 pm: Varun meets Ashutosh and Abhishek at the chai-ka-dukaan. Garam patties await!

Just another day in the life of “IIM Ka Sarkari Babu” J

My Lucky Day (Part 1)

2009-12-22T13:30:00.007+05:30

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are real, alive and mostly kicking. Most names have been changed with similar-sounding names to protect their privacy. Varun, Naveen, Abhishek and Ashutosh are real human beings though. Some incidents have been masala-fied with good intentions.

16^th December, Panic Attack, Saare Senses Savdhaan

Location: D-39, Office Colony

08.25 am: “Abey Reddy, Office nahin jaana hai kya?” Naveen’s voice woke up Varun’s sleep for the third time this week. The usually-energetic Varun, who woke up at 7 am and had his breakfast regularly for the last 3 weeks, was late again. He looked at his damn-awesome Samsung Star Mobile for the time – it was 8.30 am already! “Damn it, I missed the earlier bus again. Had to wake up early today, now no time to take a bath also. Kya jhatu zindagi hain hain saala mera” thought Varun, as he brushed his teeth, pottied and changed in clothes (all in a record 10 minutes). Off to the bus-stop.

Location: Adchini Bus-Stand

08:55 am: “Damn it, where is the bus? Wasn’t it supposed to come 10 min earlier? These Delhi buses naa, too erratic”, cursed Varun as he waited at the most-polluted corner of the city (called Adchini, as if someone stole the other half of the sugar from the place) for his bus. Fearing a delay, he started to look for autos, but all of them were full, mostly with single females. “This reminds me of one way how life would have been easier if I had a GF working in the same office as mine, if”, chuckled Varun. Somehow he managed an auto-fella, who kept on asking for “Saab, 60 rupees kam hai. 70 main aa jaaonga, bolo saab”. Varun succumbed to the request, as kind-hearted as he always was, with a soft-warning “Thik hain, bas 930 tak pahunchaana bhai”. Meanwhile, the radio buzzed in his ears, 102.6 FM playing his favorite songs on “Takeoff” and “Matchless Music Hour”

Location: 5^th Floor, Office Building

09.35 am: “God bless the office timings relaxation system (which allowed one to come upto 955 am!) – God bless the HR here!” Varun praised the former union employees who fought for this system. On entering the office, Varun was surprised by the “WTF?” looks of a familiar employee Joshi ji (who is deaf and dumb btw). On asking Joshi about that, he merely pointed to his sandals and his face. Damn it! He was wearing sandals again (in a hurry) and his face was unshaven (for the last 5 days) and looked like he came straight out of bed. Add to that his jacket and 2-day old shirt – damn! He looked more beggary than the beggar in whose plate he happened to drop a coin a few minutes ago. He fervently prayed, “God, please let this day go by. Just 2 more days before I leave for home. Bas aaj nikaal dena somehow.”

10.30 am: “Sir, aaj hamara filing-system pe presentation hain naa?” Ashwath asked his & Varun’s kind and sincere boss Mr. Kishore. “Haan, Board Room main hain, Saare CGM, Director aur CMD saab aa rahe hain waha.” Varun thanks God sincerely “Thank you! I am not a part of this presentation! I don’t even know anything about this new system! Yipee!!! Now for some more Facebook, Gtalk and Orkutting!”

12.50 pm: Lunch time! Varun is already off to lunch for 1 hour! Lucky b****rd he sure is! But he doesn’t know what is in store for him, yet.

1.55 pm: “Varun bhoolo mat. Board Room aa jaana 3 baje ko, meeting hain”, his Boss’ words shook Varun awake from his usual “post-lunch drowsiness”. “Sir, main? Mera kya kaam hoga Sir waha”, Varun begged his boss to know the reason of his inclusion. “You must listen to what questions they will ask after we have presented them with new system. Not down what was asked and what we replied. We need to keep a record of all this, as we progress into this new system, to make sure everyone’s doubt’s are cleared.” “At this moment, Varun stood in full-frontal view, in front of his boss. One look at him and even his boss got scared, like he’s seen a vagabond at the office. “Sir, mere is haal main meeting main?” pleaded Varun. He did not want the CMD and the Directors to think he was some fool. After all, he didn’t know how much long he had to stay in this firm, who knows, forever… Kishore Sir was still firm in what he wanted Varun todo. “No one else can keep the minutes, just come jaise bhi ho, bas aa jaana”, he said with a very apprehensive look that had Varun worried for the first time in his career at STC. “Minutes keeping in this attire at a high-profile meeting, in front of all the know-whos of STC? I am so screwed. Facing the CGM and shouting at the top of my lungs, which I did during induction, was much easier.”, he felt sincerely.

2.33 pm: Varun finally expressed his condition to the world with a short tweet that said “Wow! Going to the Board-Room for a meeting! My attire: A Jacket, no shave (for last 5 days), sandals on my feet - Damn, I'm screwed!” Never was he even a minute’s late in reporting anything that happened to him, and this one was a full 30 minutes late. Such was his hope that it was all just a wild dream, but it wasn’t. He remembered what Himesh sang is his only-liked Himesh song: “Kya hoga kya nahi hoga uparwale pe chod de, uparwale pe chod de”. Damn appropriate words, he thought.

What happened next? Click here to know more.

We didn't start the fire...

2009-12-16T14:37:00.005+05:30

Hi friends

I just had a very crazy crazy idea...

If any one of you remember hearing this song - "We didn't start the Fire", you must have found the song really weird. Well, this song was written using all headlines that happened during Billy Joel's lifetime, when he turned 40 years old.

My idea? I am going to turn 25 next year (Yes, my first quarter is up, no alcoholic puns intended). So I thought, "Why don't I compose a similar song from the events that occurred in my lifetime?" Afterall, 25 years is a lot of time, right? And I want to make a very professional song, and perhaps release it for free (who would listen to it anyways?).

Just a early birthday resolution from my side. Any bright ideas to help me in this regard?

Ciao.