For all my fellow human beings...: BS Awards for “Best Cars” announced, Nano wins in 6 categories...

Another one, which is similar to some usual articles on FakingNews and hence was not published...

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Mumbai, India. At a glittering celebration at the “The Taj Mahal Palace & Tower” in Mumbai, the famous weekly magazine Bizcrap Standardized (also known as BS) gave away the most awaited awards of the auto-industry, “The Goodies”. And it was no surprise that the car that stole the limelight was none other than the famed “Tata Nano”, winning 6 of the 10 possible awards.

“I am honoured by this. This is another feather in the cap of Nano and the entire Tata Group ever since we conceptualized Nano” said Ratan Tata, with a beaming smile. On being asked by our Special News Correspondent Raja Badbola if he was surprised that the Nano won just six awards, he replied “Well, we were expecting to win atleast 4 awards, so I guess we were rewarded in excess! Our Yagna must have pleased the Gods!”

The Nano was nominated in 8 categories, and won in six of them, including: “Most-hyped newcomer”, “Car with most Traffic Jam Potential”, “Most Scientific-sounding Name”, and a newly added category “Most successful car launched without proper market study”.

Meanwhile, Maruti 800 managed to win the “Most recommended car for new drivers” award for a record 9^th time in a row since the awards began in 2001. “We are very pleased with the continued persistence of the driving agencies to teach all new drivers in a Maruti 800. We hope they continue to do so for a long time to come”, said Mr. Mayank Pareek, Maruti Suzuki Executive Officer (Marketing and Sales).

Toyota Prado managed to win the “Get Peanuts by paying Filthy More” award. There was a close competition from the newly launched “Volkswagen Beetle” in this category. “We knew we’re over-priced, so this should’ve been a cakewalk for us. It was a close call, but we scraped through without a scratch!” said a thrilled Mr. Hiroshi Nagakawa, MD of Toyota Kirloskar Motors (TKM). There was some solace for the Beetle, as it managed to win Beetle won the “Most Bugging Car” award. “We are disappointed at not being able to win in two more categories, but this award was expected”, Mr. Neeraj Garg, VW India Sales Director told our Special News Correspondent with a gloomy face.

Fiat Punto managed to grab the “Car with best Indian-sounding non-Indian name” award. “We felt that the Italian name was catchier in India. Punto sounds like a nickname, like ‘Chintu’ or ‘Bunty’, and that’s how we want the customers to bond with their cars”, commented Mr. Rajeev Kapoor, Fiat India Automobiles president and CEO.

Meanwhile, Bajaj Auto chairman Mr. Rahul Bajaj called these awards “a total waste of time” and said that “the awards merely state the obvious.” On the possibility of Bajaj entering the four-wheeler segment, he commented “We are not into cars right now. May be in the future, we can upgrade the three-wheelers. We can add a fourth wheel to it and make something like a carry van, but it will certainly not be a car, as we don’t want to compete for these awards.”