Saturday, November 10, 2007

Beifeld's Principle...


After reading this post, I'm sure you will keep wondering "Is Varun crazy?". Well, I am not crazy, but I can tell you who is crazy for sure. The answer is "Americans with nothing else to do". They are the ones who come up with all these useless stuff that we Trivia specialists find "useful". Almost all of you must have heard of the famous "Murphy's Law" which says that "If something has to go wrong, it will" or "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Well, many such corollaries exist along with some other close Murphy-istic laws. Surely I did not search for them myself - that would be like a P.hD thesis! I found a link that gave me some stuff that's useful.

Some of them really caught my eye. They are as follows:

1) A short cut is the longest distance between two points (Agreed by experience)

2) In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence and then remains there (Post-MBA in a nutshell)

3) When the average nobody trips over his shoelaces, he ties them. But an expert looks at the root of the problem, and removes the laces altogether (Really well said!)

4) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research (Cliche, but good)

5) If the facts are against you, bang the facts
If the law is against you, bang the law
If the facts and the law are against you, bang the table

6) The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it (How many times did we feel that?)

7) The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish (As he doesn’t know the difference)

8) Every teacher assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that teacher's course (Refer to any IIM-L student for more clarification on this)

9) Macpherson's Theory of Entropy: It requires less energy to take an object out of its proper place than to put it back (Wow!! Where do people get this stuff?)

10) First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary (All hail the Pope!)

11) Computer prices halve every two years. Those 2 years finish the day after you buy yours (Experience says it’s a phenomenon that has struck one and all)

12) Marriages made in heaven end up in hell. (Ask Princess Diana, better ask Prince Charles also)

13) Ginsberg's Theorem: You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.

14) Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem.

Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

15) Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are (Ask any B-School graduate if you can)

16) Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them (Mantra of student life just before exams)

17) Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes (We know friends, we know)

18) Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you “can't Fool Mom” (Couldn't agree more)

19) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question (I have seen it happen to my friends many times. They can relate to this when they talk to me!)

And my most favorite one:

Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting with a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking and richer male friend.

Ciao. Do read the original link given above.

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