For all my fellow human beings...: The 5-Phase Election Fever (Part 2)

The Andhera Pradesh state has thrown up a lot of surprises this election, especially with Badi Maa banking on “I-am-Sam” Ever Reddy to deliver the goods. But Reddy is also clever enough to realize that he will not be able to stand on his own two feet this time on. Already the “Grand-Alliance”, consisting of Mr. “Maine-NTR-ko-nahin-maara” Cycle Babuji, Mr. “Telangana-ke-liye-kuch-bhi-karega” Chandu Gaadu and some “educated naxalites” has claimed victory. But in all probability, the GA will also fall short of a majority. This is because of the new entrant Mr. “Chiru-is-King” Megastar, who is said to be the real kingmaker in this election, both at the state and also at the national level. Currently, both the alliances are in tough with the Megastar for a possible post-poll alliance. But at the national level, Chandu Gaadu is clearly tired of being sidelined and has already shown his support to the NDA in a rally held on Sunday. He has firmly professed his support for Buddhe ki-vaani who was promised the creation of a new state within 100 days (on the lines of Obama who promised a trrop withdrawl within 100 days and already the 100 days are up with no such action).

Kashmir seems to have hogged all the attention in Phase 3 of the elections, when the turnout suddenly reached 24% as compared to 15% in the last election. Although the Hurriyat 2^nd-in-command Mr. A-Lone has called that nothing is to be seen in this “rise” of mere 9% as compared to more than 76% still not voting, the news-channels, particularly the Out of Times and particularly Swami tried to make a big issue over a small k-issue.

West Bengal was also in the news, with the people from Croak-land demanding a separate state for themselves, because the Croaks have no similarities with the highly intellectual Bongs. They even roped in Mr. “I-wanna-win” Santa Singha to contest on behalf of the BJP, with the promise of a separate state doled out. The place witnessed a turnout of 80%, which was slightly more than the state average of 75% this time. Let’s see whether the Croaks have croaked in the right spirit this time on!

The truly swing state in this election happens to be north-western state, aptly called “Land of Kings”. After seeing their voting record in the last 20 years, they must be named “The Land of Swings”! This is the only state where the GOP and the pseudo-GYP (henceforth called PSYP) are at direct loggerheads. Here, the GOP is headed by current CM “Main-hoon-number-one” Crappy Baal and the PSYP by the “Hitler-in-Saree” Sundry Rahe. Although Rahe had done substantial amount of developmental work in her state as a CM, her autocratic attitude and her partiality towards the Meena community brought about the downfall of her government. Though Crappy Baal is confident that his hairstyle will surely take the GOP to a good victory there, the PGYP hopes to make pretty big dents, using the big eyes of Sundry Rahe, as emphasized by the Mohra-song “Akhiyon se Goli Maare”.