Disclaimer: All characters in this story are real, alive and mostly kicking. Most names have been changed with similar-sounding names to protect their privacy. Varun, Naveen, Abhishek and Ashutosh are real human beings though. Some incidents have been masala-fied with good intentions.
16th December, Panic Attack, Saare Senses Savdhaan
Location: D-39, Office Colony
08.25 am: “Abey Reddy, Office nahin jaana hai kya?” Naveen’s voice woke up Varun’s sleep for the third time this week. The usually-energetic Varun, who woke up at 7 am and had his breakfast regularly for the last 3 weeks, was late again. He looked at his damn-awesome Samsung Star Mobile for the time – it was 8.30 am already! “Damn it, I missed the earlier bus again. Had to wake up early today, now no time to take a bath also. Kya jhatu zindagi hain hain saala mera” thought Varun, as he brushed his teeth, pottied and changed in clothes (all in a record 10 minutes). Off to the bus-stop.
Location: Adchini Bus-Stand
08:55 am: “Damn it, where is the bus? Wasn’t it supposed to come 10 min earlier? These Delhi buses naa, too erratic”, cursed Varun as he waited at the most-polluted corner of the city (called Adchini, as if someone stole the other half of the sugar from the place) for his bus. Fearing a delay, he started to look for autos, but all of them were full, mostly with single females. “This reminds me of one way how life would have been easier if I had a GF working in the same office as mine, if”, chuckled Varun. Somehow he managed an auto-fella, who kept on asking for “Saab, 60 rupees kam hai. 70 main aa jaaonga, bolo saab”. Varun succumbed to the request, as kind-hearted as he always was, with a soft-warning “Thik hain, bas 930 tak pahunchaana bhai”. Meanwhile, the radio buzzed in his ears, 102.6 FM playing his favorite songs on “Takeoff” and “Matchless Music Hour”
Location: 5th Floor, Office Building
09.35 am: “God bless the office timings relaxation system (which allowed one to come upto 955 am!) – God bless the HR here!” Varun praised the former union employees who fought for this system. On entering the office, Varun was surprised by the “WTF?” looks of a familiar employee Joshi ji (who is deaf and dumb btw). On asking Joshi about that, he merely pointed to his sandals and his face. Damn it! He was wearing sandals again (in a hurry) and his face was unshaven (for the last 5 days) and looked like he came straight out of bed. Add to that his jacket and 2-day old shirt – damn! He looked more beggary than the beggar in whose plate he happened to drop a coin a few minutes ago. He fervently prayed, “God, please let this day go by. Just 2 more days before I leave for home. Bas aaj nikaal dena somehow.”
10.30 am: “Sir, aaj hamara filing-system pe presentation hain naa?” Ashwath asked his & Varun’s kind and sincere boss Mr. Kishore. “Haan, Board Room main hain, Saare CGM, Director aur CMD saab aa rahe hain waha.” Varun thanks God sincerely “Thank you! I am not a part of this presentation! I don’t even know anything about this new system! Yipee!!! Now for some more Facebook, Gtalk and Orkutting!”
12.50 pm: Lunch time! Varun is already off to lunch for 1 hour! Lucky b****rd he sure is! But he doesn’t know what is in store for him, yet.
1.55 pm: “Varun bhoolo mat. Board Room aa jaana 3 baje ko, meeting hain”, his Boss’ words shook Varun awake from his usual “post-lunch drowsiness”. “Sir, main? Mera kya kaam hoga Sir waha”, Varun begged his boss to know the reason of his inclusion. “You must listen to what questions they will ask after we have presented them with new system. Not down what was asked and what we replied. We need to keep a record of all this, as we progress into this new system, to make sure everyone’s doubt’s are cleared.” “At this moment, Varun stood in full-frontal view, in front of his boss. One look at him and even his boss got scared, like he’s seen a vagabond at the office. “Sir, mere is haal main meeting main?” pleaded Varun. He did not want the CMD and the Directors to think he was some fool. After all, he didn’t know how much long he had to stay in this firm, who knows, forever… Kishore Sir was still firm in what he wanted Varun todo. “No one else can keep the minutes, just come jaise bhi ho, bas aa jaana”, he said with a very apprehensive look that had Varun worried for the first time in his career at STC. “Minutes keeping in this attire at a high-profile meeting, in front of all the know-whos of STC? I am so screwed. Facing the CGM and shouting at the top of my lungs, which I did during induction, was much easier.”, he felt sincerely.
2.33 pm: Varun finally expressed his condition to the world with a short tweet that said “Wow! Going to the Board-Room for a meeting! My attire: A Jacket, no shave (for last 5 days), sandals on my feet - Damn, I'm screwed!” Never was he even a minute’s late in reporting anything that happened to him, and this one was a full 30 minutes late. Such was his hope that it was all just a wild dream, but it wasn’t. He remembered what Himesh sang is his only-liked Himesh song: “Kya hoga kya nahi hoga uparwale pe chod de, uparwale pe chod de”. Damn appropriate words, he thought.
What happened next? Click here to know more.